Thursday, March 31, 2005

As I sat in the dentist chair looking out onto the high school football field, the one I can never quite remember what school it is, maybe St. Louis, and later people on the radio are talking about if high school football is as big as it is in texas, which sounds ludicrous, but this one guy is pretty sure of himself that Hawaii football is bigger. But of course there are a lot of whys and wherefores.

Joe Igber went to Iolani (private school), then Cal Berkeley, think he forewent pros to be a lawyer or philosopher. Ashley Lelie, now star receiver for the Denver Broncos, and University of Hawaii standout, went to Radford, I believe public, but almost all children of military, right by pearl harbor and hickam out in Aiea. Out by the interchange. You got the H-3 coming in from Kaneohe, straight up and through another hole in the Koolau, strictly there as a path of least resistance between Kaneohe Marine Base and Pearl Harbor.

I got into my car after the dentist visit was complete, my gums slightly bleeding, pondering the discovery of a deeper than normal hole in my second to back molar, getting in line on the H-1 to head back to lower Nuuanu to verify a personal matter via e-mail. Reminded of the guy in the London Pub, after a few rounds told us it was back to the office, but would we be sticking around, he’d be back in about 10 minutes, just need to make some quick e-mails. I can’t remember if we were still there when he returned. I don’t think we were.

And the day amid all the butterflies in Switzerland, the indoor habitat, colors beyond imagination, blending together, the children laughing and playing, video cameras rolling, poses struck, all the while, those little moments you take to have it all to yourself, to know that this is what you dictate to yourself, not the filtered version through the world. But those thoughts come steady as the morning alarm, not allowing for backing out or revisionist history, nothing necessarily substantial, just an affirmation of the originally known.

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

see you shouldn’t fuck with Reginald denny when he’s had his trychtophan, I got my shit just about ready to shoot over to you know who and then the what that too comes into the room and like, busts a jumbotron of accelerated tendencies. Yes, there’s so much to read and so much to know and only so much time, like the bangles said, you never know how it’s gonna move, it’s a mystery. I think the go-go’s said that too.

If only I could have been there, that’s all I can think as I walk down the street, sweat dripping from my lower lip, wondering where it is exactly that I’m going and why and to meet whom in what back alley and during all this there’s someone sneaking up on me, periphery bound but my senses are sharp and I drop and roll across a wide grassy area and then I’m in front of a fountain and the water splashes across my face and it’s gratifying the moment, the edge, the fear, the hatred I feel for Cartigan as he takes dead aim at my heart and head with his buckshot banger full of lead but I’m blastin back with equal and venomous anger and I feel the lust for the blood filling up my head as I scream for final release from the demons boiling my brain.