Friday, May 06, 2005
Have I mentioned how much I love LA? A lot. Not nearly as much as the degree of the love for which I have my wife. Not to be big simpin up in this piece, and that’s the last I’ll say about it, but let’s just leave it at, I have an amazing life, I have an amazing wife. If luck were astromedallions, I’d have a million plus.
So I was just in the city of angels last week and had a fucking blast. Big congrats to my man on his nuptials, for which I was overly proud to stand at his side as the best hombre, the biggest honor since lil’ cease toted the chroners for biggie, shit, bigger, and, well, I’m at a loss for words.
Yes, I’m a little tipsy. I’m loving the world. Even you. That person sitting in the closet playing gin rummy. It’s all good. There’s some form of master plan which will present itself someday. That has been the key to my success, if that’s what you’d call this, (I do), believing in the better things to come, in the darkest days, well, shit, that’s just the opportunity to have the biggest turnaround and show those mofos just what kind of gangsta you are. The kind that bushwick bill would be proud of. That otha level style. You know what I mean.
Fuck, I’m blabbing. But it’s beyond good. Not because it’s literature, which it’s not, but because it comes from the heart, which is why I started this shit in the first place, cuz, fuck, it’s for the fucking kids, man, the fucking kids, only it’s not, it’s for every person who ever felt like a total fucking piece of shit and knew they were unredeemable and then one day they saw a rainbow and realized, shit, this jurk storr shit, this could work, it could mean something, it could be like that plastic bag flapping across the back alley, it could be that one moment in whateverville, the time where you knew the ultimate feeling of ultimateness. Whatever, if you don’t know what I mean, you will. Or you won’t. either way it’s cool. Figure your own philosophy out, not that that’s what this is, this is, fuck I don’t know what this is, but it’s good, at least for me right now.
Shit, man, I almost cried when I gave that speech. I’m an emotional pile of donkey squat. Nothing wrong with that. I’m finding my inner deuseldorf. And I like him. He’s not a bad dude. Not half bad at all. And you’re pretty kosher yourself. Well, probably. You might be an asshole. Work on that, will ya? I’ll do the same. Peace & aloha.
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
But I won’t. I don’t have the guts nor pinache of say, a supervillain, to just call it quits and blaze all the bitches in a blaze (yup, double werd score) of glory. I don’t have the cojones to shoot all the cokeheads up and jump from the third floor balcony.
Nope. I’ll sit here and type a boatload of bullshit and you’ll read it, or not, or you’ll accidentally stumble onto it and then most likely strangle yourself or even more likely click immediately to the goat porn you were actually looking for.
It’s funny there used to be a time where I was hoping to regulate myself and limit my crapsterpiece expositions in this here, and now it’s like decades pass and I look and it’s still FDR wondering whut his d feels like sitting on a boat in Hawaii likely thinking who gives a flying fuck anyway, then realizing he’s gotta get off his ass, well, just metaphorically, and save the world. Or something like that. Fuck it.
Well, the master thesis is going along, not smoothly, but progressing, actually maybe it’s theses now, the nature of the way I’ve been doing the shit is that it’s split between various sectors and I’ll just open a window and think, ok, where was I, and then just write from there, so the editing job is gonna be monstrous, but I kind of liked this one part where the main dude is at his grandfather’s funeral's afterparty, and his dad starts telling the tale of the darkest horse in their family, this guy who decided to get a sex change back in the late 60’s, if that even is possible, and then after years of rejection from every end of society eventually found some semblance of happiness as a bearded lady in the circus.
And here I am thinking that’s original; it was probably on an episode of matlock or some shit like that and I’ve been repressing it all these years. Oh well.