Friday, January 21, 2005

so, uh, it’s time to write that crap ass tster piece kine shit that you all need and don’t need and then knead and then throw it in the oven and then it’s all fuckin done and then no one can say crap ass shit or even getting it on with the herky jerk crowd. None of that is even allowed to be uttered. Cuz it’s all been vetoed. By sergeant joker.

Thursday, January 20, 2005


A lot of quick thoughts I must get out before I leave work in 30 minutes and therefore, can't post until Saturday, since Friday is no internet day because I am the coolest.

I talked to Jeffrey at the Parks Dept.

Turns out his favorite animal is the leopard.

He likes the spots.

There's a girl who works 2 doors down that is really cute, but I won't talk to her, because I'm nervous, me, the biggest mahfuggin pimp this side of the Roanoke.

If you did a comparison shot, 95% of people would do me over her, yes, even the men.

So why am I nervous?

Be like, "Look snitch, I'm ryan, we should cohabitate and make some babies, knowwhutiamsayun?!?!"

Probably wouldn't work.

BTW, that 95% was more of a testament to how good looking I am, not that she is ugly.

I don't mess with ugly skeezies.

tick tock tick tock

it's like 187 on a mahfuggin...

like the one who came in here about 10 minutes ago looking to lose some pounds.

And I was like damn son, how bouts you lose the gun and carry flowers instead, that'd be some weight gone, plus increase the peace.

Poker in like 1 hour and Im gonna go all in first hand, unless its a bad hand or i don't feel like it.

I'm a man of meeeestary.

Buddy wants me to go backpacking through South America but I was like NAHHH cuz I can't leave I'm a pseudo internet quasi celebrity and he was like whuuut? and I said, yeah son, like 60 peeps or more click me and he was like WORD? and i said WORD LIFE SON no BS and he said for sheez you better stay so I am because m68 loves da kids.

Snaps man, 17 minutes and I'm goners cuz I can't sit here anymore. I got a big day off tomorrow where my buddy wants me to watch a golf tournament with him, VIP passes, MVP tent access, etc and we can hang with pro golfers but I like to sleep in and plus, I don't drink alcohol anymore since Im straight edge aka not straight edge but serious, I don't drink anymore, really.

I should probably just tIvo LOST and OC and shit and watch that all day on Friday but shit man, theres a ton of shit on tv during the day that I watch instead, like cooking channel shit and stuff thats pretty good but it's not good good, like TILT, but TILT's not good either, since it' all bogus where they throw around poker terms.

BTW (BY THE WAY) my poke name is Herpes, since I kinda disappear at sometimes, but I never go away.

Like, BAM SON I'm at the final table and HOLY SHIT, Herpes is here, how'd he make it?

And I'm like I sneak up you beyotch, word.

One lady told me yesterday I'd make a great boyfriend forher but I am too young and Im like WTF young buck here will rock you all night and she ran out.

Women can't handle the truth.

I love you all, and no I'm not nuts, I just have a lot of problems.

Keith will never let me guest blog again.

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

So yah wuddup sooper busy so much shit going on but I always have time to gather oats and squabble ye may.

Or not.

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Ok here’s the thing ya see I wanna do everything and nothing but all at the same time ya see? An even though that sounds so the opposite of realistic in the sense of actually being a possibility that I am almost loathe to admit I chanced upon it in my repertoire, I have to see, it is definitely some accommodation of the truth.

Now in meeting with certain prerequisites of various organizations, of course all are admittedly and in some ways determinedly different, quite intentionally on the other end are they also prone to bouts of dementia in pondersa style wondering about the similarities, cuz you gotta have em, but it’s getting the good ones right and the bad ones righter and being on top of your game as well as their’s.

Anyway, at the same time I wanna make sure that one thing doesn’t necessarily infer or insinuate anything that may hinder or at all bushbeat the brows of modern acceptadaptibility. Mos def. And, well, the third thing is that it all has to be copacetic with the ultimate landlord.