Friday, September 10, 2004
So, yah. Uh, what else was there. Oh yeah, many props to jim beam. And to my pops, who’s birthday is officially today, if you’re on the mainland. Here in Hawaii it’s still an hour & a half away, but about halfway across the ocean it becomes officially the anniversary of the day of the birth of the man who impregnated she who gave birth to me, that being my mother, who I also have all the love & respect for in the world, despite how it might sound weird the way I said it just now. I’ve never been famous for saying things in the appropriate manner, but somehow someway I always manage (ok, almost always, ok, sometimes) to get my point across without offending half of the known contingent, aka anybody who knows or doesn’t know me.
To put it shortly & sweetly, well, prolly not so sweetly, hmmm, that’s a little weird, but anyway, happy birthday dad, you the man, you always will be the man, I love you very much, thanks for guiding me in the way of the force, for showing me how to deal with various obstacles in my life, for demonstrating for me both in word & deed what is really important in this grand game which we call life and, uh, for everything basically. Muchas gracias para todos.
Also, thanks for calling me & mrs. P to make sure we were safe & sound on 9-11 which coincidentally came on the day after your birthday and weirdly or not so happily for some reason, ok, the, uh, calendar I guess, I will always associate, ok, maybe not always, with your birthday. We really really appreciated it, you were the first one to call to make sure all was copacetic with us, which obviously it was, and we’ll forever appreciate it.
Have a great fricken birthday Dad. Love always. Aloha.
Hmmm, this was supposed to be some random post about whatever wherevers all kines stupid kine stuff & it turned into some kind of relevant love meaningful issue oriented type something or other. Oh well, cookies crumble, balls bounce, and young boys grow up to be men, with the proper guidance and support, ya heard? Serially.
Wednesday, September 08, 2004
hey there party peeps. Yes I start every whatevs with that. It’s how I do it. At least at, uh, 1:34 on a Thursday. The day I stay inside cuz that’s the day the police beat the shit out of you if they catch you out there on those streets. Oh, wait, that’s only if you’re black. Which I’m not. So I’m prolly safe. Unless it’s a black cop. But wait, what’s that ice cube said? “black police showing up for the white cop.” So, uh, I’m still safe? Hmmm. Actually out here in the boonies you’re prolly more in danger being white than brown, cuz the locals got mad more pull with popo than I ever would, they’d be like “fuckn haole, come here & let me tazer you” to which I would respond, “sorry ossifer, but I don’t do it like that, ya heard?” and he’d be like “oh, ok” except it would be a totally different conversation, prolly involving me ending up, uh, riding shotgun with like a reindeer or some shit like that.
Shit I have no idea what any of the fuck of that shit was supposed to mean.
Ok, well, maybe they could. But, serially, the only peeps that got my cc were the peeps over at x corporation who i did my dillio with, and they are legit, and I’m bout to tell them that, like, sorry, I don’t think it’s gonna work out between us.
Is it, like, illegal to talk about it like this? Hmmm. oh, now that they're x corp i believe it's otay, even though it prolly was before.
Uh, drink this kool aid. It’s yumm diddly icious. 78 vitamins & minerals.
holy shit the new chappelle standup hbo shit is fukn hilarious, i watched some of it yesterday. you will shit your drawers and gasp at amazement at this mofo's fearlessness. makes chris rock's big dillio he had look like grover's corner on sesame row. chuuuch.
also, for more info on this free ipod dillio click here.
fuck, it's prolly a scam. involving every possible level of the federal government as well as a tri conglomerate magazine publishers convention's ideal on making me have a, um, rabies shot.
ps, cornbread is not just for breakfast anymore.
oh yah, wanna free ipod?? Well, click here & get one, follow all the instrucciones and by clicking that particular linkie, the one above saying “here”, you know, on this page? & completing yer dillio, you’ll help ME get MY free ipod, which I deserve so much so in that I am, uh, deserving.
If you think it’s all a big scam then click here for the ever-legit wired magazine's article on said topic and checkitty eckitty the hammerness of it.
but don't forget to come back and click my linkie when you take the plunge, and, uh, i'll buy you a hotdog by the ocean if i ever meet you.
Like hutch, or was it starsky? said, “do it, do it”
Tuesday, September 07, 2004
Ok, ok. It’s going swimmingly. I’m calling up bitches for cash. Can’t beat that with a bat, as they say. They being, uh, I forget.
Ok I called up some more bitches that have to have my money and I even called up some guy about, uh, well, serious bizness. That’s really all you have to know about that, and actually, you didn’t need to know that part, but now you do, so be careful with that fucking information, otay?
Dang I had a shitload of backed up voice mails on my shit. I just cleared most of em out. Are you proud of me?
Man, tiger woods needs to like drop his bitch and go live in a hardcore Tibetan temple somewhere with like nothing but whips & chains and golf balls and that duff guy yelling at him, or, hmm, that duff chick? No, that just gets back to the crux of the problem.
Dang, Woods had been #1 for more than 5 years. Not too fukn shabby. Still, he sucks. Nah, it’s just, shit, golf is bumming. Vijay singh? Tell me he has a quarter of the marketability of woods. Might as well have fukn dumpy mcpherson be the champ. Or, uh, who’s a real life parralelogram? Hmmm. Even vanilla ice would bring more duckets. It’s like having that guy that works at the liquor store, with the belly and the, shit, you know what I mean? It’s not glamorous.
But big ups to singh anyway. Not that I give half a fuck about golf. Yet still I write (blab) about it. Why ask why. Mas trabajar.
here's to good things. and, uh, mortarboard.
yah so i have cotton mouth like a fool, and the sink's garbage disposal is broke, anbd has been for weeks, and so the flies that spring up when i run the faucet kinda gross me out.
what do normal people do? call plumbers and go grocery shopping? thats so tacky.
it's like a good idea that ends up being totally retarded. if you follow my logic, (because i sure don't)
anyways a perfect example is this guy in my building who put SAND throughout the whole place instead of carpet, or hardwood, or vinyl or whatevs... FUCKING SAND. yah im sure the novelty of THAT wore off fast, especially when the cat forgot it had a litter box, and having to dust off yer feet every damn time you put on your shoes.
but hey, i bet spilled bong water was no big whup. he could prolly straight up take a pee in the living room. how hot is that? so hot.
am i crazy for thinking it's weird to take a cab to a bus stop? that is just a side note.
i think its time i am made an admin on this site. im the bomb.
Monday, September 06, 2004
And with that I shall delve into that which I quoted I shalt not delve. Tres typical. Which means, uh, in French or something, that I always do that.
Actually, no I don’t, er, won't. hmmm, what else to say?
Eh, I’mma go watch tv for a spell. These werds, they, uh, resonate??
I watched the UH (university of Hawaii) lose to division 1AA, well, ok, probationary division 1A Florida ATLANTIC university on the boob toob last nite. No, not florida university, florida atlantic. As in, yes, you’ve never heard of them. And their head coach looks like an insurance salesman. And he’s a little wacky with his tabacky. Eh, prolly not, I’m making shit up again.
Tres typical. Oh, what a buttoned up & perfect (non) ending. Bah humbug escalade. There, that’ll werk. nope, won't let it.
One nice thing about UH getting beat up by a supposedly vastly inferior opponent, we can quit fooling ourselves into thinking that just because Timmy Chang is prolly gonna break Ty Detmer’s passing record this year that he’s got some chance at the Heisman. Yes, mein freundes, that discussion is officially over. Deposit it into your smoking receptacle of choice and commence to inhaling.
Did I mention that Cal beat the living fuck out of the air force yesterday? Well, not the actual air force, just their football team, but it was still quite impressive.
The innernet is very very quiet. Oh yeah, it’s a 3 day weekend, as in, whut the fuck am I doing on the innernet myself. Hmmm, ghetto pass revokal, film at 11. aloha.
Sunday, September 05, 2004
Well the fantasy football dillio got all jacked up cuz I didn’t realize odd number of players no draftie.
Uh, last time I try to like organize anything. You’d figure this would be a little more simple but apparently you need a masters in chemical engineering to set up a fake football whateverthefuck. hmmm, i think i'm displacing, as this seems entirely my fault, gotta read the fine print, alfredo.
sorry for anyone's wasted time. Hopefully you were all on preset whatever & I was the only one at the computer anyway, stressing.
Uh, corn beef and cabbage.
So draft reset for same time tomorrow if the world doesn’t officially despise me now, and we need one more person.
Be a hero save a whale.