Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Well. I am now a father. It feels great. I am a bit tired. Sleep is at a premium. Work is on hold except for slight inclinations back toward the dollar, like right now. Er, right then. She is a beautiful little girl, innocent to the evils of the world, at least for now, and every time I look into her eyes all I see is love. And myself. And my wife. And the possibilities of this spinning orb of solid matter, how something so seemingly inane and inconsequentially disregarded (ie the chaotic surface of our fair planet) can produce this little being with little hands and little feet and little eyes that when they look at you you just melt because there is nothing like it, no feeling on God’s green earth (astronomy corner, gracias) to even compare, and you know you will do anything and everything of what could ever possibly take to protect this little being from the wherewithalls and pitfalls of the world (Gaia again?), and there will be successes and there will be failures but one thing that there will assuredly be whether the sun is rising or setting (Helios says howdy) is the feeling at the core of your being that you will fight for the side of the right, fight for the sanctity of this child’s life and happiness and moments of clarity unto death or the at that inopportune moment when your grilling up a fajita & the gates of purgatory come knocking with the nonchalance of a traveling salesmen selling goretex materials from outer space. The nonchalance being purgatory’s messenger’s, not your own, because inlying within those emotions and pathologically metered understanding nodules will be a passion unknown since x first encountered y and decided that z wasn’t such a bad idea after all, nay, verily, the best ever considered and action plan thereby enacted.