Friday, November 19, 2004

heh. hey, whutsup. uh, i know i said i'd never do this, but fuck it, here's a taste spoon of the master thesis. this is the bit i just wrote tonite. like, 31 thousand words in? peace and love to all. werd 2 officer byrd.

So two hours later, Ben found himself nestled comfortably in a starbuck’s on a nondescript street across from a quite average looking auto repair shop, a mom & pop it look, ie, he meant, at least to himself, it wasn’t sponsored by unocal or any shit like that. Just some dude or cadre of dudes or dudettes trying to make a go of it. Trying to beat back the man invoice by invoice. Trying to be fair and honest yet bilking with sir bilk a lot when the necessity arose or in some other way presented itself. They weren’t perfect. They tried to be fair, but sometimes they had to stretch the rules.

Yeah, guy. Like the rulons. The degree to which ben’s psyche could go off into random ass crapsterpiece tangents was sometimes beyond even his realm of thinking (oh the shock, there be something he could not comprehend) and in that instance he felt his arrogance, that he even consider there would be some emotion, or rather, not consider, that there could be something of which he could not relate. He was too full of himself, too lost in some alternate reality.

Or else it could be a layover of the chronic overdosage yet still within perfectly safe parameters of which he had endured the night before. Makers and mark had been the trick, and why had he got up so early, with no hangover, per se? no hangover in the bad sense, but quite hung over in the cosmic sense? No, that wasn’t entirely right, or even half right, he was hung over in the sense of thinking overboard on any given subject, when especially in light of the fact that there was so much, wait, so few, stimuli with which to base this opinion on.

Aarrrggghhh. What was he even stressing about? He loved slashed hated those moments when he could feel the tension in his body, in his mind, in his soul (?) that he knew there was some source of, he knew it had to come from somewhere, unless it was clinical, which he didn’t believe, not him, he was much too, what? Clinical? Was that the word? Was he the antithesis of that which he never thought he could be? How ironic would that be? And was he even using the word irony in the correct sense?

And what did it matter? Not just this, but anything? And why? Arrghh, a useless question, even the point withstanding that no question is supposed to be stupid, but sometimes, you’re just being overindulgent, you’re just analyzing it too much, you’re saying to yourself “self, let’s go on a magic mystical joyride through my cranium and see what we find,” and the answer shouldn’t always be “yes.”

Or should it?

He didn’t know the answer. He doubted he’d ever know the answer. He wondered why the hell he was even pondering it.

He motioned to the waitress that his coffee needed a refill, which it did.

Thursday, November 18, 2004

this is just insanely perfectomundoed.

Sports guy all season all clippers.


Yes, the clippers lost

Kobe played well

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Ok. So the moral of this story is that the clippers won again, stomping Canadian ASS and they go up against the not quite world champion lakers at staples tonite, home game lakes, but, shit, the clips own this building now. Tonite we take ownership. We. I said it. Clippernation. And I will be there. I will be in Oakland at the arena and I was there when it was the new arena and I remember thinking whut a retarded name for an arena, cuz you know you’ll have to drop the name, but now it’s the arena and it’s all shakin & bakin. Ok no it’s not, golden state is droppin games left and right and that’s what they get trying to have some stanfurdite be their coach. Can you name one college coach that jumped to the pros and started hittin up the block?

Uh, larry brown I guess. But still. There is the critical area that he was Kansas joe. Wait. Was he? Fuck I don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about, so anyway, if you’re like, my stalker? I’ll be there. With full on clips regalia.

But I will have to suffer up the cosmic consequences if golden state somehow grows some balls and beats the la clippers so uh, whut? Yup. So. Shizzle mctizzle with booweevils, you know?

Uh, I have to, uh, you know, do the whole nine yards dillio right now. At this juncture. Cuz if I don’t it won’t to me to be better myself with that which is required doing. The issue at hand. The gracias to the enchilada. The chili cheese steak with the great moonrake. And then other shit like that.

Jeezo peezo this shit is takin so fricken long and shit I’m thinking fuck it I don’t have to do this shit right now. No this shit. Not the other shit, that necessitates immediate and calculated action.

I want to say, uh, that something very meaningful, uh, is gonna come out of my mouth. What’s the point of actually typing “uh” I mean, am I just being, uh, jene say kwah when I do that shit? Like trying too hard to do the “stream of consciousness” bullshit? I mean, I’m not trying to propogate that shit, truss, I mean, it’s just the way it comes out, I mean, I’m not trying to do shit, I’m just trying to get crunk and like type crap.

Fuck. So anyway, I’m watching cool hand luke over the last few days, and the second banana from naked gun won an academy award, and the broad at the library made a point of mentioning to me that other peeps at the brery were on a paul newman kick and that she didn’t see the draw, ya know, the jenny say kwah, of him, yes, the salad dressin general, and, I dunno, but the flick, it’s like, the ultimate not giving a fuck guy, yet he does.

Not sure. It’s like, say at a certain point you just said fuck it. And then, suddenly, there was something out there that suddenly mattered, or didn’t matter, I dunno. And for whatever reason, all you wanna do is fight, and then those self same people that you fight with, you wanna make nice, I dunno, but just suppose.

Then also suppose, and this is totally unrelated to the flick, at least in what so far I have seen, you encountered your total alter ego, but the antithesis, I mean, it was like, this person was the total polar opposite of what you were yet could do everything you could do, but had a heart of stone, everything you cared for, he wanted to destroy, and say he killed your one true love, and eventually you got over it, moved on, etcetera acres, and then you’re all engaged again, and he comes around again, and tries to off the new person in your life, just as you’re about to make it all official, I mean, you’d off the sumbitch, yah? Therein lies the drama.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

yo. I’m in the house. Gracias to xtx for making me famous. I, I, think I’ll try a heinekin.

So whut’s with the whatsistat on channel 83? I approve.

Anyhoo, if you didn’t know, this is just, fuck, I keep wanting to say that, best to keep in reserves.

Clips host the Toronto raptors tonite. Canada’s best. Canada’s only. Fuck Canada. No, I don’t mean that. Sorry, it’s, like, alliegiances can only handle so much intergression, and if the clippers are involved, yes, the los angeles clippers, well, then all bets are off.

Clipperville is now officially clipperville again, for a while it was like bearville, but not like you’re thinking, I mean, fuck Chicago, it was golden bear ville. Yes. Golden. Goddammitt, you understand.

It all comes back to the bay.

All of it.

I don’t know what this guy’s saying, but he’s got some nice resolution pics (one of which I snagged, below) of the cast of the upcoming fantastic four movie. I selected this picture completely at random from the four characters available. I threw 83 different dice and consulted with 85 hundred legal teams to verify that it was completely random. You’re welcome.

Monday, November 15, 2004

yoze. I got a free minnitt. Gotta mention odb, rest in peace, nuff respect, etcetera.

Uh, hmmm, oh yah, nah. Oh yah. Fantastic four. Movie coming out. When? dunno. momentum building on the i-net, wave not cresting yet. Should be huge acres. what is huge on the innernet? not, like, what is a huge subject, but like to whut degree if something is huge on the innernet is it really huge, in economical and socio political matters?

anyway, Jessica alba as invisible woman. Hmmm dee dee. And, uh, um, the thing, I dunno, didn’t look great great, I mean, I ain’t gonna lie, they need to get back in the lab widdit.

Oh yah, I saw a pic and link to more pics from the movie set at treacher. Er, the link, follow the yellow brick road, ya know? And not the pissing fetish train. That’s stuck actually at 3rd junction station, left side of the, uh, train office? No, station. Fuck.

Alba blonde. So, uh, the jurk storr almost answered the phone on the 83rd try.