Friday, April 21, 2006

steve kerr picks the clips to beat Denver in their first round matchup, but he just had to throw this little tidbit of bullshit in:

I believe in karma and the Clippers have none on their side after dipping to the sixth seed in order to face Denver.

Oh please, steve kerr, why don’t you wrap your lips around that nice horsecock for a few more hours and spare us your unremittant bullshit. Karma. How much fucking karma can the clippers have stored up, you actually expect me to sit here and accept that statement, that the clippers, the motherfucking CLIPPERS, have run out of karma, the clippers have more fucking karma in their left testicle than your Jordan coat tail riding bitch ass mark ass fuckbag douschhole talking head fucknut has in your whole body plus your grandma ethel and her pace maker. This franchise has been eaten up and shit out for thirty plus fucking years, longer, and you have the nerve, the gall, to talk about karma just because they did the sensible thing, the smart thing, and worked within the system to get themselves a better matchup? Steve kerr, why don’t you please go shove that microphone up your fucking ass and shit out a shiny quarter because I need a gumball, I just can’t digest your horseshit words anymore. Your breath reeks of diarrhea. I hope you burn in hell.

Now HERE is someone who got it right. As usual, Bill Simmons gets it:

Look, it doesn't bother me that the Clippers tanked the last two weeks, capped off by a bunch of phony injuries and Vin Baker starting in an alleged "must-win" in Memphis on Tuesday night, just so they could land the sixth seed instead of the fifth seed. What bothers me is that they would have been crazy not to tank. Seriously, why would any NBA team in its right mind rather play a 60-win team that owns it (without home-court advantage) over a 45-win team that it owns (with home-court advantage). If the only goal of an NBA team is to advance in the playoffs as far as possible, how can you fault the Clips (or anyone else) for tanking to create the best possible matchup?

Don’t hate the player, steve kerr, you fuckn towhead fuck, hate the game. It’s patently ridiculous to fault the clips here. In fact, I would have faulted them if they’d been idiots and HAD played harder the last couple weeks, I mean, it would have been sheer idiocy to gun for that 5 spot, just complete lunacy. Your nuts will be roasting in ragnarok steve kerr you, fuck, YOU are the one with bad karma now, for talking shit about the clips. It’s akin to watching a fight between barry bonds and willie shoemaker and hoping barry wallops the lil feller up and down the gladiator booth, or not, but you know whut I mean, or not, anyway, fuck steve kerr.

More on the clips from bill simmons (same link as above):

You know those college cities where the townies detest the rich kids from campus, or a multicollege city where the kids from the lesser-respected college openly loathe the kids from the well-respected college a few miles away? That's how the Clippers fans feel about the Lakers fans. Pure hatred. They even have fights in the stands during Clippers games and stuff. I'm telling you, keep your fingers crossed for a Clippers-Lakers series -- if you ever wanted to see a fistfight between Frankie Muniz and Jack Nicholson, this is your chance.

Now this is true, I’ve heard about this shit. I don’t necessarily HATE laker fans, but when they’re going against the clips? And give me that condescending bullshit? Yah, that gets the blood boiling a bit. And simmons is predicting a lakes/clips second round, which is NOT out of the realm of possibility, the suns look like shit, kobe is playing out of his mind, not to mention odom, who kinda broke out after the midpoint, and jesus H. christ, but kwame brown is actually starting to look like not necessarily a #1 pick but at least a first rounder, albeit still a bit green. The lakers are dangerous, but fuck em anyway.

My prediction: I think all this laker upset shit it just that, shit. Yeah, the lakes are dangerous, but with nash in the lineup phoenix has owned em. I’d love to see lakes & clips battle it out at staples, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t see it happening. And you may think I’m insane, but I’m also picking the clips to take down phoenix in round 2. the clippers have big guys that can both run and pound it down low (brand & kaman), something that phoenix just doesn’t have, specially in light of no stoudemire and what looks like no kurt thomas.

So it’s clips in 6 vs. denver, followed by clips in 7 versus phoenix, breaking hearts in the desert.

My upset special is the kings beating the spurs in 6, but getting thrashed like hoes in round 2 by dallas. As for the fuck elvis posse, sorry memphis, but grizzly adams is dead and gentle ben is comatose.

As for the clips against dallas in the conference championships? I ain’t touching that one with a ten foot pole. Ask steve fuckbag kerr what he thinks. I won’t count donald sterling’s darlings out but dallas is looking good, very good, good enough to make an eggsalad sandwich in the hot july heat look like gafelte. Fuck. If brand eats his wheaties and sam keeps up with the testicle dance, shit, you never fucking know. You never fucking no. yup. 3 times. Nunca.

As for the east? Fuck new york. (not literally, it’s a rodney O and Joe Cooley track. Nuff respect due). Seriously though. I don’t care. Peace, bitten effect, late pass, etcetera acres. Gracias & salud.

What the hell is with this boom boom music and herky jerky and going willy nilly around the everbeaten path; totally inexcusable nonchalance in responsibility toward penmanship and basic manners of wiping your feet, dribbling your chin, washing the steps of the outhouse on your way out with pine sol, I mean kids today, no respect for their elders. An example, today I was playing basketball, and as my fake hip slipped out of position and skidded across the blacktop not a single goddamm one of these young punks offered to pop it back into place for me or even pick off the scab the shift of which had caused the sumbtich to come loose in the first place. I tell you, it’s a dark orb this spinning vestibule we’re forced to call home, and if you ask me, the inmates are in charge of the Tupperware party, no more can you walk down to the 7-11 and grab a coldpack in peace, come back to the safety of your domicile and drain one after the other until you fall down in a wreck on the floor and smash a golf club thru the window in rage, NO they got this goddamm ACLU and Audubon society making sure you don’t hit any birds and aren’t keeping any political prisoners in your basement. Who’s business is it beyond mine what kind of bird hostage rituals I conduct? What the hell else am I supposed to do when the checks come back marked “bad” and the meat arrives from billy the butcher marked “good.” I ask you, I mean, I know yin and yang went out with the hooper triplets, but this shit is getting fucking ridiculous.