dr. doooom's answering machine

clips snapped a 5 game losing streak. the win came against the worst team in the league, but hey. Hosanna in the highest. And I say that with all the oppositeness of seriosity. I was getting irritated watching fear factor last nite, and some guy praying to Jesus at the end that the final measurement will reveal that he won a million dollars. And then going “praise Jesus, praise Jesus,” after he won, and the other guy lost. What, you think Jesus likes you more than the other guy? Asshole.

Fyi: dumbass, Jesus don’t give a rat’s ass if you win a million dollars & prolly gets irritated you praying for it as you extrapolate yourself on tv swimming in roaches and smashing up ATV vehicles. Do you know how many starving kids in Zimbabwe you coulda fed with that moolah?

Eh, it’s like the ol’ “thank you Jesus” that Kurt Warner uttered after the Rams won the superbowl. Hmmmm isn’t it interesting how the next time they made it to the big game they choked their asses off to the pats? Or how his wife calls in on radio shows and makes him look like a moron? Or how young college punks are knocking him outta the starting rotation?

I think the moral of this story is if you’re gonna ask God/Jesus for something you should potentially consider keeping it to stuff involving things that are actually important, like health of loved ones, or safety of same parties, or peace on earth, ending of hostilities and murder & torture, or, like, the clippers winning (oh snap!). I jest. Aloha.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Posted 1:31 PM by Alfred

I’m heartily struggling with this whole waking up thing. Can someone take the whole idea of, uh, that which must not be said, you know, ok, you don’t, whatevs, and just flush it down the eua de toilette? Have I mentioned that bing is a blogging genius?

Why do I always ask if I’ve mentioned shit? Why do I think it has to be about if I’VE mentioned it, I mean who gives a rat’s assburger? I’m sure you don’t.

Anyway. Fark. Now I gotta call this guy & ask him if we did this, how much he would charge for that, all the while knowing there’s no way this or that will happen and that in all eventuality, and to the degree that I’m actually putting through the paperwork, the answer is gonna be what’s behind door #3.

in further news, I’m hopefully going to go partake in that which is food, and then discuss with myself why I feel the need to use too many words to express simplistic ideas. I needs to get rid of that habit. Let’s try. I’mma go eat. Hmmm, that wasn’t so hard.

And then come back here, and, uh, work? Shit, there must be a more elucidated mode of transmitting that concept to yall in that it will sound like, uh, Professor Plumb in the drawring room like came up with it or some shit like that.

Monday, December 20, 2004

Posted 1:36 PM by Alfred

Hey yall. It’s like the sweetest thing those of you that say whut you would buy my book. Superdope and akin to the sweet flavor of scope. Much preciated. And all yall that wouldn’t, hey, much props as well, just for bothering to be here in the negasphere, or at least my corner. Serially. Anyways, as saying, er, not saying, whatevs, still more work needs be done if this is actually gonna happen.

Did I mention that tony has another book out? And anti’s got one? I prolly have or have not. I can’t remember and don’t care to check the, er, record, at this time, which will make me look tarded in retrospect, but, hey, what can you do when it’s time to get busted by the red white & blue.

Part of me thinks the whole thing needs to be reedited and possibly tightened up even more to include the first two years & thus just the very best of what so far is considered the best. Cuz, I don’t know, flipping through what I selected, some of that shit ain’t gonna make the cut.

Invariably, it is inevitable that, uh, the seconds & minutes elongate into infinity. Yup, you can’t argue with that, now can you? Nope.