dr. doooom's answering machine

Wuddup wuddup howzit yo. A quick whatevs just to let yall know, shit, that, tha jurk storr ain’t outta commission, not by a long one.

If you’re ever in Hawaii Kai or even in Honolulu and don’t mind a quick drive I must hasten you to taste the wares at the Swiss Haus. Sheeiiitt is tasty. I had pork stuffed with ham and cheese and then they litter some bacon and mushroom sauce on that grub, yes it’s off the diet menu.

We were gonna sample the fondue, but the snails crawled their way into the picture and the delicacy was delicatatious. Yes.

Dunno why I’m telling you this shite. Normally any mention of things that are actually done are strictly forbidden, but the owner and operator was such the mack and came by to make sure we were satisfied, and he indicated that wtf and why are people so lazy to venture out of the nuzzle of “town” per se and drag their asses 3 miles past the end of the freeway and grub on phat swizzles? I told him I really didn’t know, but that Hawaiian locals are notorious piles when it comes to driving anywhere, theoretically or not.

In other news, I have to get the fuck out of this office for a spell and continue to obsessively read from the 80’s adventures of the masterful HST. It’s just unbelievable how much it looked like, in 86-87, what with the whole iran contra thing blowing up, that there was just no way the repubs could continue the dominance, especially bush senior who had his muggy imprinted fingernails all over that shit, at least apparently, and yet, he actually crawled his way into the white house, grandma looking old lady and all, to lay the foundation for our current madness. Weird wild stuff.

maybe not so weird when you take into account the fact that (surprise!) the dems could only come up with a weak ass piece of shit like dukakis to run against dubya's pop. Gary Hart? say hello to mr. camera and mrs. hoochie mama in your pantalones. gracias.

Anyway, officer bird says “werd.” And you can quote me on that.

Monday, May 09, 2005

Posted 6:05 PM by Alfred

I think I’m gonna rush home after that bell and start getting drunk and watch the phoenix dallas game. Cuz that’s, uh, what I do.

And then, eh, fuck that shit. Everyone can basically kiss my ass. Unless I like you. And most people I like. Except, uh, that guy. And her, over there. And I’m kinda pissed at that dog. No, that one.

It’s probably better that you not read this. Gratzi.

Well if either of tonite’s games are half as exciting as the ones yesterday, I might be drunk enough to actually care, but probably not, as that would take about 83 gallons of everclear.

No, no, no, no, that just won’t do.

The master thesis is like a hair over 55 thousand werds now. That sounds impressive, but the last 5 grand generally involve either this dude sitting at a funeral and his old man thinking about jumping in the grave and beating up his dad’s dead body, or some guy on an airplane, going to said funeral, and just thinking and thinking and thinking about what a phenomenal piece of shit he is, among other things.

I guess there's a bunch of other shit, but it's turning into this overwrought orgy of subconscious balderdash, directionless, spinning, spiraling; maybe I'll revisit that bit where homey wakes up in the bathroom stall in Atlanta, that had a little promise, possibly a window for something interesting to happen in there. I dunno, I'll keep you posted, or not.

So yeah, the movie version should be out right about the time that Hitler’s having a nice cold iced tea and riding a polar bear with Suge Knight.

pink is the new blog

If liking the above makes me gay, well, engorged penises is the new chartreuse and beetle bailey was prolly playin grabass with marmaduke anyway, so, que sera.