Tuesday, July 02, 2002
All right Aquaman, I don't want to leave y'all hangin. First off, let me get one thing clear: there was no stomach issues on Thursday night. The horrors were all on Friday. Thursday good. Friday bad very very bad. Thursday fun. Friday painful. OK now that's clear.
Anyway I think I left off the story around beer # 6, which was soon followed by #'s 7, 8 and 9 in quick succession. Here is where events get a little blurry. But let me go backwards, before I can go forward. As some of you may know, I have a policy that if I am ever going somewhere and there may be a situation in which I will become inebriated, I always bring my faithful chauffeur, Harvey. Harvey is a rabbit. A very friendly, somewhat pesky, but always reliable 6'4 rabbit. No one can corroborate this story as I usually only ride with Harvey alone. One person met him, this was Bartley a few years ago, but Bartley's recollection of a number of events, especially those concerning the Wave, are hazy at best and outright lies at worst.
Anyhoo, Triangle Prism was doing their thing on stage, I was doing my thing on the dance floor. There was a synergy, a connection, all eyes were on me as I did my triple scope electric slide over and back, over and back. There was a simultaneous outburst of applause after the third song and my finishing stomp on the dance floor. I think it was at this point I emphasized to G-Dog that it was his turn to get the next round, which ended up being my last.
As we swigged the beers, we bounced around in tune with the music, checking out the scene, enjoying the moment. Gulp gulp, my drink was done before too long. Looked at the clock, 12:30, time to bounce. Gotta work in the AM. Told G-Dog & Mike I'm outtie like Kirk Gowdie on a straight up bonumbo tip. The crowd was bumming, I think they were hoping for another triple scope e-slide, but a man's gotta do, ya know. I said peace out to Propaganda and wished him good luck. This guy has mad skillz on the mic, but skillz don't always pay the billz. I mean look at Canibus, he spits like a madman, but have you ever heard a Canibus album? I haven't.
Anyway, I knew Harvey would be waiting in the car to chauffeur me back to my boss's casa. (Crowds make Harvey nervous, he prefers to stay in the car and bump the Doors) I stumbled out into the night and headed toward the Ala Wai Canal road, where I'd scored a prime parking spot. That was when the only serious issue of the evening began. I walked a half-block down the Ala Wai, no sight of my vehicle. I walked another block, thinking, okay I'm faded maybe I parked further away. No sight. Oh shiznididdly the car got towed. I'm screwed. Or the car got stolen - even worse. Gotta call the wife and have her come pick me up. This will not be good. So I start running back down the street in a blind panic. I then paged Harvey but he must have been passed out - (too much rabbit-nip maybe, that vagrant long eared sumbitch!!!).
Oh, there it is. That simultaneous moment of happiness and knowing you're a moron. I had parked so close that I'd crossed the street beyond my car already and walked about a mile past it in a stupor. Harvey was passed out as I guessed, nose and whiskers orange from what appeared to have been a serious carrot binge. Stupid fukn rabbit. I woke him up and said yo Harv whats up, I gotta get home and crash.
And that's it! We bumped Jay-Z volume 3 all the way home, and I fell asleep the second my head hit the pillow.
In the morning there was slight headache.
This gradually became a hell-like state that I don't want to relive thank you very much.
As for Harvey, I haven't seen him for a few days, but he always pops up when you're least expecting him. I'm not worried.