Posted 11:21 AM by Alfred

Well I decided I'd try to start weaning myself off of coffee today. And you know what? Fuk you.

I'm feeling cranky and tired. Coffee is the fukn devil incarnate. I'm gonna switch to every other day for a while, but be patient my peoples, as I will be an every other day salty joe kind of guy.

I just can't seem to open my eyes all the way. It's like a big gorilla is standing on my eyelids and waving around a rotten banana peel, pissing all over the place in a random configruation, making almost concentric circles on the wall. Well, I guess it's not really like that, but that sounded interesting so whatever.

Well I'm not gonna be around here too much today. Usually I'm the inside man at the skunkworks, but I'll be out in the field. Part of the skunkworks' public relations program. I have to go out and do product samples of skunkwork merchandise and generally kiss ass. First stop will be the governor's mansion. Ben Cayetano is a corrupt, good ol' boy Hawaii Democrat, with a penchant for squid testicle stew, so we're brewing up a hearty batch in the skunkworks' commissary at this moment. I don't touch the stuff normally, but I'll have to slop it down and smile for the camera.

Just cuz you used to be fukn Batman's butler everybody wants a goddamm piece.

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