Wednesday, September 18, 2002

Time to drop some local kine cal bear knowledge on ya. The ever-so-Golden Bears' stud running back, Joe Igber, is creeping up on some Cal rushing records. He's got a total of 2,254 yards, 2 short of 5th place Reynard Rutherford, yet still way behind all-time Cal rusher Russell White who rides high at 3,367 yards.

Russel White was THE stud of the campus and Berkeley in general when I was a freshman at Cal in 1991-92. The Bears were GOOD that year, spanking Clemson in the Citrus Bowl to close things out. He ran for over 1,000 yards that season, was a serious heisman candidate until they lost to Washington and fell out of the Rose Bowl picture, and could have gone pro, high draft pick after that season, but he stayed in school, despite the pros calling waving cash, drugs, g-strings, and pinky rings all over his face, citing the "stay in school" motto. BIG mistake. Begining of next season, he jacks his leg, recovers about half-way through the season but his stock drops considerable. Basically in the where are they now, I don't even know. He bounced around to a few NFL teams, but never caught on. Vanished off the radar into the hemisphere like a big red balloon.

So the moral of the story is screw school and take the cash. I mean I stayed in school and look at me. I write a stupid website and hang out at the beach all day, I mean that's all we do here in Hawaii right? gawd I'm so sure. Shabba yeah. And it's poi and kalua pig served in a hula skirt for every meal too, in my little grass shack. The only thing missing is Elvis singing Blue Hawaii, cuz ya know what? Elvis IS dead. Sorry.

Anyway, I took an oh-so typical for me sidetrack there. Russel White was badass and it sucks to see who you think is the ultimate athlete athlete dash his hopes of glory by doing the right thing. For the record, I think education is hugely important, but shit, if they're waving millions of dollars, you can take whatever the hell classes you want years later while you're counting that scrilla. I mean look at Vince Carter and his little "OK, um, I'm going to fly back to North Carolina for my graduation ceremony the night before the easter conference finals game 7." You didn't see Allen Iverson stopping by at his Beauty School class for some last minute pointers did you? hell no, he was getting pumped for the game, not patting himself on the back for a piece of paper and a smile from mommy. I mean it was just a game to see who got bent over by the LAKERS but shit, Vince has kind of looked like a sheister ever since.

ok I just canNOT stay on topic. Joe Igber, current Cal running back, is a local product out of Iolani High School here in Honolulu. I mean, he's not a local boy in the strict sense of the word, I'm pretty sure he's an army brat (shitload of military on Oahu, in case you didn't know). Igber set six state rushing and scoring records at Iolani High. He's fifth in the Pac-10 this year at 86.7 yards per game. So now you know. PS the golden bears fukn rule harder than Rulon, and I know I used that line earlier today, but it's like my special them right now so you'll just have to get over it.

Air Force up next this weekend. Not to be like unpatriotic or anything, but we're gonna do a little operation fuk you airforce mofos, and if you think that's the most original name for an operation, well you just might be right, Mr. oh I'm SO sophisticated and smart and better than you Joe, oh really. Well put on these gloves and run your jewels beyatch cuz it's roll on you bears time.

I'm really gonna try to watch this new Birds of Prey thing that's gonna be on TV. Future Batman world with crippled Batgirl (courtesy of the Joker), Black Canary, and the Huntress (aka Batman and Catwoman's grown-up daughter). Should be interesting. I always get a kick out of checking out other media's comic interpretations, from the catastrophic 70's Captain America movies to the beauty that was Dolph Lundgren as the Punisher. (ok that was not good, but it was Dolph, I mean Mr. Red Scorpion, pseudo props at least?) I thought it was gonna be on tonite, but I checked my local listings, and unless we're getting jacked in Hawaii, it's not until next week. Fukn corporate network bastards.

Holy shit, did you see Real World last night? Call me a little teenie bopper, but I love that show. If you haven't seen it yet and want a surprise, and/or don't give half a rooster's left nad about the Real World, skip this whole frikken paragraph, cuz I'm about to do some serious stupid babbling. This season should be good as the drama is already ensuing at a rapid pace. The cocky Mr. Cool white guy and the southern belle aka not-so-secret hoochbag white girl have already exchanged fluids, the goofy white nebraska small town boy is hurt, the two black girls (one who looks like she hasn't slept in about 75 years when she takes her jermaine dupri sunglasses off) are already best friends, and you know they're gonna hate each other (it shows you they do in the little preview for the next episode, but I swear, I called it. Every time people get too close too quick, like saying, oh you're the most special friend i've ever met, they always end up despising each other, it's like, newton's 3rd law or something). Top it off with the black guy who seems very gay at first but I guess is actually straight (the jury's still out, not that there's anything WRONG with that) and the white little partier girl that can't stop talking about how much "trouble" she always stirs up. And I mean, they've got these people in the crippest phatest suite in a fukn hotel on the Vegas strip. It's gonna be fukn chaotic madness, which always makes good television. Hey though, one thing. I know that everyone likes to see the beautiful people, but what the fuk, has there EVER been a fat person on real world? The closest I can think of is Heather B, the rapper chick from the first season (which doesn't really count, because it wasn't so corporate and evil and formulaic and prestaged for armageddon-like party carnage yet), and she wasn't that fat. I mean, isn't that like weight-ism or something like that? They need like a Jared, pre-Subway diet up in there, like clogging doorways, sitting around and playing nintendo and eating crackers all day, whining about how no one loves him. THAT would be entertainment, comingled with all the vacuous and shallow and fukn annoying pretty people cluttering up his view of the television. I mean, the first thing all the guys do is go to the gym!! Fuk that, I'm hitting the tables when I get to Vegas! what the fuk? And the fukn naked hot tub episode already? dang does every fukn real world have to start off like Caligula now? not that I'm complaining, but dang? Is the whole country just a bunch of over-sexed freaks or what? damn excellent television I tell ya. And what's the deal with no mufukkin Cal Bears?? shit! Obviously I am a freak for caring so damn much. I guess I am very lame but oh well. So that's my little real world breakdown. We'll see what happens.

alright i'm just going nowhere with this so peace out and don't forget the alamo which you gotta love ozzy osbourne for pissing on. Maybe he missed Randy Rhoads so much he couldn't control himself. I know I do, and I never even met him.