dr. doooom's answering machine

Aah shit. Ray Lewis looks happier than that time he didn't have to go to jail for his little super bowl party drama a few years back. Does anyone even remember that anymore? Something about not being forthcoming about evidence in a murder trial? Ah, water under the bridge, Ray, just keep spanking bronco ass like that and you're good in my book. Hey everybody witnesses people getting killed every once in a while and forgets to report it. Common mistake.

Dang, which team was Brian Griese playing for last night? They should have put the kicker in at quarterback, he completed a 108 yard kick/pass (to the other team, but that's just quibbling right?)

Ok enough shit talking.

I wanted to clarify some of my little dillio on Tom Leykis and the battle of the sexes from yesterday. I had a bunch of other stuff written, but I chopped it up, and I'm thinking it didn't come out right, so I thought I'd spill on the other stuff I wrote. I guess the lesson is not to edit myself. I kind of feel like I portrayed Leykis as some kind of hooker referral service. Again, please be aware that I don't understand anything about humans. I live in a cave with a bat named Walter and we grunt and growl and spit out sunflower seeds at the passing subway train. That is the extent of my human interaction and knowledge, be that as it may, I'm just gonna paste in the other stuff I was typing yesterday as my mind wandered:

I'm not saying I agree with everything Leykis says, but he makes a lot of VERY good points. Women tend to take advantage of men that let them, and tend to be more attracted to men they find unavailable and uninterested. Think about it ladies. You don't want a guy calling you every day, you want a guy that's a little bit of a challenge, right? Not necessarily an asshole, but someone whose life isn't revolved around getting a hold of you. Now of course not ALL women will walk all over the sensitive guy, but you do have SO many cases of the "nice guy" phenomenon. The guy with all the girls who are his friends, who can't understand why no girls want to hook up with him, dang, he's such a sweetie, right? Right, and thus no challenge and totally unappealing to the frauhleins.

I hate to be Mr. Generalization, but for a large portion of the population, dating is basically an exchange of commodities. Women want money, and men want sex. Most people usually have to give up one for the other. Tom Leykis is trying to educate men on how to get sex while spending little or no money. Meesh's friend "S" is giving up the technique on scoring the cash with no sex. Yin and Yang. Bert and Ernie. There's two sides to every argument, and obviously I'm on the male side of the coin, but ya know? A mark is a mark. Any guy that is coughing up cash to some girlie and not getting any reciprocation deserves what he gets, just for being a rich dumbfuck. And likewise, girls, if you're letting some dude that doesn't give a flying eff about you climb up on board, and then you get hurt emotionally? hey, roll with the punches, next time be smart. It sucks, but there's a lot of jerks out there. There's also a lot of bitches. You signed on for a game with no rules, and unless you can deal with the results, don't throw your dice on the table. (enough cliches yet?)

Of course, these are total stereotypes, and not all (hopefully not even most) people fall into these cookie cutter categories. There are a lot of people out there just looking for somebody to be with in a caring relationship, no strings attached. But think about it: how many guys are going to continue to date a girl with no sex on the horizon? And how many girls keep dating a guy with no job/no cash? It's not a matter of good or bad, it's just the way it is.

Well what do you think bloggerville? Am I saying anything that isn't painfully obvious anyway? Am I totally talking out of my ass? Did I take this job for a cheap buck? Was the loch ness monster really jack the ripper?

Stay tuned and find out none of the above. Ok I'm out like a light switch. Tomorrow: Chicken Basting Fetishes: Sickness or Cure? You be the judge.