Posted 4:45 PM by Alfred

hidey howdy ho. once again i sit here and ponder what to say, and what comes out? blah.

you should really check out utter wonder. a super hilarious hill of hilarity. he even reminded me of who it was i was trying to think of the other day. Bob Eubanks. THAT's who i was saying was a copycat Chuck Woolery. Now i don't know if that's fair, they're both pretty damn old school, but it was bob eubanks making an ass out of himself with that clear eyes guy - ben stein - on some bloopers show the other day. it is so vitally important that you know this! please get out your notebooks and a very sharp knife and write it in blood with the feather from a cockatoo. i mean, what if you get kidnapped, and you've gotta come up with bob eubanks or it's hasta la vista baby? you laugh now, but you'll hear me later and then it'll be ME who tells YOU how it is. how it IS.

DAMN. it is a day, nay, a week, where crap turns to frigid frozen crap. i shall remember this week of blogging fondly as the period where i really found my voice, and then went and got an esophagus transplant. maybe a fukn rhesus monkey should be writing this. ya know whut? fuk it. come here Coco. ok here's the keyboard, go for it.

HI i AM rhesis munkee alfred is a fukn dumbass i am the true BATMAN butler. attention all primates, the super secret meeting is this weekend at gorilla grodd's swampland legion of doom office. i'll bring the bananas and copies of 1984, both the album and the book. we'll blast van halen and read george orwell until we sort all this crap out. over and out. ok i'm gonna start going ooh ooh ooh ahh ahh ahh again so the human will think i am stupid.

isn't that cute, Coco pounded on the keyboard for a while. oh Coco, the blissfull ignorance that you live in, if only i could be a rhesus monkey, i would swing from a tree and take dumps on people on safari and pound my chest and smile that super cool monkey style smile.

hmmm, that should be enough for a friday. happy weekend all you phillie blunted philanderers. oh yeah go BEARS! oregon state this weekend. and don't forget to catch the UH Rainbows, (oh EXCUSE the fuk out of me, i mean Warriors, wouldn't want to think our football team is gay or affiliated with Jesse Jackson, now would we?) take on Fresno State in an hour and a half. go bows! um warriors!

and to that 13 year old kid outside 7-11 that kicked my ass and took my Tony Hawk t-shirt yesterday - you're going down punk! I was distracted by my blue vanilla slurpee, and dammit i had been doing some serious weight lifting earlier in the day and was SUPER sore. if i see you and your goddam red bicycle and notre dame hat EVER again i swear to God i am telling your mom.

long beach.

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