Friday, October 04, 2002

You know when you have something in your head that's bothering you and you tell yourself, just get over it, dude, dang man are you a psycho or whut? well now is one of those moments. for the last few days it has been bothering me that i am not on dawn olsen's blog roll over at up yours. no check that not for the last few days for the last few months. look on that list to your left. all those bloggers i link them with no thoughts of any return linkage, i mean i just like reading all those blogs. some of them do link me but not very many. i am just too nice and magnanimous and all that stuff.

well dawn olsen set up a new site cuz blogger kicked her out and i updated her link to go to the new page, and then i went over to blogcritics, which is a pretty cool gigantic cabal of famous bloggers or whatever, and run by her husband eric olsen. he hadn't even updated the link yet!! and i did! what the fuck, why am i bothering? (ok, i just checked, now it's updated, but i won't let the facts get in the way of my argument). I've had Up Yours on my blog list almost since day 1!! can people reading this please click on dawn olsen and go over there, and then come back and then click the link again later so she notices me? am i like a little fly in her soup that she just has the waiter come and say "get rid of that goddamm little fly piece of shit!!!"?

dang i am out there today. but i read up yours almost every day, and she did a big thing complaining about how instapundit doesn't link her often enough. and when he does, he doesn't say the right things about her. instapundit!! dang if instapundit even thought about me i'd probably pass out. if instapundit even farted in my general direction, the hits alone would probably melt all the memory banks and destroy this little blog as you know it.

so dawn, really, i'm not talking smack, i love your blog, i think you are hilarious, you tell it like it is, you say whatever the hell is on your mind about any given subject and anyone with total disregard to how you may be perceived. so i must do the same. it is driving me crazy that i am not on your blogroll. why don't i just e-mail you? i don't know, i'm a pile, when i click on e-mail things on people's sites it opens up outlook and my computer crashes. i don't have the energy to go to yahoo and check my e-mail where no one ever writes me except the guy selling used pintos and duck phones. i want to be on the up yours blogroll, even if it's a little section entitles "whiny little bitch that is a large and tall piece of donkey shit"

ok that has been more than enough. don't judge me on this one, blogosphere, i'm not trying to stir up trouble, i just want to be on the up yours blogroll, i want to be somebody. it's like in steve martin's the jerk when he found his name in the phone book and ran around the gas station parking lot screaming "i'm somebody!!!" that's what i'm gonna do if i get linked by dawn olsen on her amazing site up yours. i'm gonna run around the skunkworks facility with absolutely no regard for my nasal passages and scream "I'm somebody - I'm on Dawn olsen's up yours blogroll and now everyone will come here and give me frankincence, gold, and myrhhh, whatever the fuck that is!! yippeeeee!"

but then again, dawn olsen probably won't even notice this. i mean, she is a big-time blogger with a lot of other stuff to worry about and attend to. but if enough of you click on these links for dawn olsen, then maybe she will and someday i'll be somebody!! maybe i'll be the head window washer at texaco!!! no dream is too big!!!!

ok now THAT has been more than enough.