Posted 4:48 PM by Alfred

My fuckin brain is on ice today. Actually ice may not be the right word. I’m just kinda stupid. I’ve got day after jet lag, I’m tired, I’m so bamboozled that I left my coffee sitting outside my office this morning on my way in and just noticed it when I got back from lunch. It was full and still a little warm. Well I popped it in the microwave and now it is hookin’ my ass up.

I feel like a fuckin dumbass today. Every task seems like fuckin climbing frikken mount everest up in this bitch. Every other word is fuckin, which is the mark of true creative literature.

I’m number three on google’s list for searches for kool keith. This is number 2. Pretty interesting bio on the man known as Dr. Doooom, Dr. Octagon, Matthew, Black Elvis, and Spankmaster.

So yeah, there’s that.

I’ve got like 8,000 things to do and I feel like a fuckin llama that just smoked a pound of crack and who happens to had a brain enema. So in other words, I’m ready to rock.

When we went to Forest Lawn to see my Grandpa’s grave we happened to walk by Liberace’s grave. The L is missing, but other than that, pretty impressive. We had a conversation later about how he supposedly went on trial in England for being a homo. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. So if you see Liberace’s grave, my grandpa’s straight ahead and right around the corner. Go check him out and say I said wuddup. Wuddup Grandpa. Shout out.

Speaking of not being anything wrong with that, for some reason the subject came up at my buddy’s house in G-Town the other night, and I used that line, which is my standard line when the subject comes up, because it’s the perfect combination of being how I feel and being from a Seinfeld episode, and he was like, “ya know, fuck that, I hate when people say that, there IS something wrong with that.” He reminded me how when we were in high school, and I would give him a hard time on his homophobia and tell him like, “Dude, if I were a homo, would you like disown me and never talk to me again?” and he would say “fuck yeah,” and I would be like, “Dude, that’s pretty fucked up, I’m a homo,” and he’d say, “shut the fuck up” and I’d say, “dude, you’re like homo-bigotted” and he was like Mr. Future Military joe, and he’d say “fuck yeah I am.” So the point of the story is that I guess he’s mellowed with time, ten years in the military and now a couple as a civilian, and now he’s response is that he’d still talk to me, but not very often.

By the way, I’m not really gay. No, really. I mean, not that there’s anything wrong with that.

So anyway, back to going to Forest Lawn. It was pretty somber, but good. My Grandpa is in a cool area, like an enclosed little patio, with a bunch of other dead people to hang out with. Open air above, lots of company, he was a people person, so my Grandma likes to think that he’s happy chatting away with the other people in his area, keeping happy. So that’s cool.

My Grandpa’s mother is in the same cemetery, outside by the road, so we went to check her out too. Then I remembered that my aunt’s little baby, that died of Crib Death back in 86 was here too, so we hiked up baby hill and said hi to him. That was the one that really got me vaklempt. There were tears rolling down alfred’s face I’m not ashamed to admit. That little guy had less than a month, but he was a little trooper and we had him for one Christmas and my aunt was so happy, and she’s happy now years later, she’s got a really cool situation, but it brought back all kinds of heavy memories and rough times, so it was like one of those I’m sad, but in a good way because you know, it’s nice to remember somebody that is gone. I think that it really keeps somebody’s ghost happy when you remember them, and not that many people probably remember my little cousin, seeing as how he wasn’t around very long, didn’t make too many hookups in the world of men, well Joey, I remember you, and you’re in my thoughts, and you made a difference, and you were a dang good little guy, so carry your head hi up there at the heaven morning meeting or whatever it is you ghosts do on Monday.

Wu-Tang Clan is a dang solid bunch of rappers. Check out the W if you haven’t already.

Snoop Dogg’s new show on MTV is kinda funny.

I feel like a frikken retard today. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

I think I’ll go to the bank now and count my duckets.

Peace.

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