Posted 3:00 PM by Alfred

You’ve really gotta read Bill Simmons' latest ramblings. Here’s a taste spoon:

“I never got the memo ... when did it become okay for Kermit the Frog to make a comeback? Why didn't they make the new Muppets movie just of Kermit urinating on Jim Henson's grave for 90 straight minutes?”

Why can’t I think of shit that funny?

I really don’t have much to say right now. LOTS of shit to do, gotta get all my ducks in order before I head to the mainland on Thursday. PHAT vaycay coming up. LA, Mex, next stop phattieville, thank you very much.

No thank YOU very much. No you. No you. How bad is it that my college roommate and I used to crack the hell up out of each other by simply saying “no you” back and forth to each other while watching Beverly Hillbillies?

The answer: 5. Five what? AstroMedallions.

Really guy? Yeah hah heebie.

Am I the only one that is sick to hell but vacillating with enjoyment regarding this whole having to listen to Christmas music every second you’re in a goddamm store right now? Part of me is annoyed to hell, but the other half just amuses myself all to death by singing along but changing the words so that they’re really dirty. Jeez I was just killing myself at the mall last night. I am the master at amusing myself. Now, the world will feel my wrath.

Hmmm. I really think that is it for now. Yes, I know, I suck, deal with it my peeps.

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