Posted 1:54 PM by Alfred

I am truly a blessed individual in many ways. Probably the BIGGEST single factor in my massive amounts of success and good looks and overall vibe of positivity that surrounds me is the amazing genetics and upbringing provided me by my wonderful and fantabulous parents. And although my Pops is truly one swell dude, today’s spotlight falls gently yet unwaveringly on she who gave birth to me… my Mom.

Hi Mom! If you’re reading this, yep, I’m still alive. I know I don’t call NEARLY enough. I’m even eating my greens, and in fact I even ate asparagus last night. Have to say, still not a big fan, but amazing the adaptations the human stomach makes over the years. Anyway, thanks for being such an amazing source of inspiration & support throughout all these years. I know there were those periods where I might have seemed just the slightest bit ungrateful (oh I am dreading the years when my future unborn children are between 12 and 15, because if they put up half the attitude I did, then dark days are truly ahead) but please believe that during that time whether I told you or not I really appreciated all your sound advice and unwavering willingness to at least hear out my insane arguments of how a 13 year old kid should be able to do and say whatever he wants because, um, what was my reasoning again?

So anyway, this isn’t nearly as structured as I’d hoped, and since my loving mother is also an English teacher, I’m already dreading the score I will get on this particular essay. Did I tell you that my Mom was actually my middle school English teacher for a couple years? Oh the tortures I put her through drawing pictures of Batman while she struggled to instill in our young minds the knowledge of centuries of literature. I had a bad attitude you see, the basis of which was that I knew just about everything, but I didn’t did I? (did I?) no. So anyway, my Mom is an incredible teacher, as anyone who’s ever been blessed with her wisdom will tell you. And that is definitely a factor in my unparalleled writing skills which you witness here so often. And if you think I am not so unparalleled, well then, think how parallel this would be if NOT for her. Hmmm? Then you’d really want to run down the street screaming.

One of the really cool things about my Mom was how she could make seemingly boring stuff seem really interesting if you just gave her a chance. She’s probably the most accomplished museum hunter in the seven hemispheres, and if there was ever something old on display in the greater LA metropolitan area during the 70’s or 80’s, you can safely bet that I saw it or was told about it. I think my favorite was the Getty, the one out in Malibu; I think we camped out for three days at the door prior to opening. Dang, that is a cool museum if you ever get a chance you should check it out. All those greek statues hanging out in that garden overlooking the pacific ocean. Mom was always in full support of anything that would expand my mind in some beneficial way, be it going to the library or bungee jumping off of a Cliffside. (well, maybe not the bungee jumping). To this day I can't walk by a bookstore without stopping in to soak up some knowledge, and that is a good good thing, yes? Thanks Mom!

So anyway, long story short, or long story long with many twists and turns and unnecessary information, my Mom is very very cool and I really do love her a lot. She taught me to respect other people, but don’t let them take advantage of you. She taught me to see the humor in any situation. She taught me that there’s always a silver lining, that bad times can’t last forever. She taught me that the world doesn’t give you anything, you have to go out and get it. She taught me so many other things that I use each and every day without even knowing it, and for that I am eternally grateful.

Happy Birthday Mom!

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