Friday, February 14, 2003

ok. Here’s the situation. Your parents are away for a week’s vacation. They left town and your blog’s fucked up. Your internet homey’s are like what the jack’s up? And your like jacko and the gremlin crew are eatin’ up my shit!! Fuck!

Yes that didn’t really rhyme and fresh prince is about as hip these days as fred durst but fuk it if my page is not fuCKED up. I mean I know I’m not the belle of the fukn ball, but I DO usually get more than like 8 hits a day or whatever people manage to fukn get in here lately.

Netscape seems to be able to slide right in. same with mozilla, I THINK. But if you’re on IE then get a nice cup of cocoa and a good book cuz you’re gonna be waiting a few hours if you wanna read this shit.

Soooo, I have come to the point where I must express myself while under the knowledge that the people that require it can be blessed with my all-knowing wisdom. Thus I will be camped out temporarily at a dog named clipper. It loads up so nice and fast, like a good dog bringing you the morning paper without taking its turn in the john to read the sports page and bringing it to you all torn and ripped up.

I am not REPEAT I am NOT abandoning ultrablognetic. FUCK THAT. This fukn thing is my baby which I nursed from a baby lamb and I’ve put blood sweat & tears as well as countless quantities of chi into this beyatch, so all you infinitely cool people that have linked my ass or visit here please don’t drop me like an old salad tong, this problem will be fixed, it’s just that I know about as much about fixing internet crap as fukn Barry Manilow knows about Compton.

It would be REALLY cool if anyone out there that knows half an ounce of dogma about blogger template code or crap like that could maybe look over my shit but ya know whut? I don’t think it has anything to do with my template. I think there’s a secret conspiracy against me and my blog was set from the start with an expiration date and this is all a ploy to sell blogger pro. Which is fine by me, ya know, if I knew that buying blogger pro would fix this shit, my check would be in the mofoin mail, but ya know whut? I don’t know that. Because, you see, if you only have blogger, not blogger pro, they won’t help you, cuz you’re a fuckin freeloader, so you gotta pay up and then they’ll help you, but who knows if they will or will be able to or actually will give a fuck cuz ya know, they gots yo money, dig? You’s a captive audience as they call it in the “trade.”

Sheeeeit. Catch 22 style and not the good kind.

Anyway, until further notice, as mentioned, I’ll be chilling over at a dog named clipper, so check me out. Yesterday was the super secret limited screening but everything is everything so cop that good shit! And this shit ain’t over muthafucka, I ain’t goin’ out without a fight you goatless bastards.