Posted 4:41 PM by Alfred

dizam it’s busier than a built up tension wire’s cro-magnon scale on 83rd Tuesday afternoon dogshit up in this bizzle.

My cell phone when it rings & it’s next to my monitor, my monitor does a funky chicken screen wiggle. Like a zzzzz and then it’s over, but timed with the rings, and then it did it, and I picked up my phone, and no one was there. Does that mean the clippers are going to win the championship?

But wait fuck the clippers, it’s golden bear time. Whut the fuk is a wolfpack?, we’re fukn packin the mac in the backadda ac, mufuh. Sheeeiiiittt. Nc state can lick my ballholios.

Ah so desu ka. Whateverz. Even if they beat the pack, who actually looks pretty tuff, at least half as tough as the New Kids on the Block, er sorry, NKOTB, but still, pretty damn (so damn) tough. Tougher than ice-T’s bodyguard.

So what the hell was I talking about? Oh yeah how tuff nc state is. Yeah for little bitches they’re pretty tough. But then, after that, it’s Oklahoma in Oklahoma, and I’m not talking about the play I’m talking about the university, mad pony territory, and they are tough as in Arnold schwarzenegger’s pectoral muscle optometrist if he swallowed like 18 steroid capsules of 835 milligrams.

Tough. In other words, extremely difficult. They’re good.

But the golden bears WILL prevail.

I have spoken.

Oh yeah, I guess we’re at war now. And yesterday, hose monster pontificated on it in the most thus and concise and perfected manner in the history of astromedallion counting. (i can't link the post for some reason, so you'll have to find it. complaint letters regarding this matter should be addressed to my cousin elroy) And the funny thing is, he’s not even picking sides. (hose monster, that is, not elroy, elroy is in a coma) He ain’t saying whuts up in the hizbang only that it’s frizzled (the situation, not hoseman, but hey, you never know). You NEED to read it. it’s one of those things you’ll tell your kids about trust me on this one.

So what do I think about this war? Whatever. There’s a lot of hostility going around and it’s not good for the vineyards. And even though I’m not that much of a wine guy (I gotta be eating swordfish, honestly, to be in the mood for it, but that is JUST me. Not you, I’m not trying to project my shit on to you in any way shape or form, ferreal). But the war for me is like this big pot full a gumbo, and the beans are mad at the tomaters, and the onions are all pissed off at the lamb guts. And then you throw in some Tabasco, well damn shite that kettles gonna frizzle over and dump a whole bunch of zucchini chunks on you faster than you can pull off Diane Sawyer’s wig.

And I won’t say it when it happens, but just to preemptively warn you about it, I told you so.

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