Tuesday, March 25, 2003
I almost lost my wallet & cell phone last night. Actually left them in a shopping cart in a grocery store parking lot, went home, hung out, realized that shit, rushed it back up there, and my wallet was still in the shopping cart. And my phone had been turned into lost & found at the store. I was waiting for snuffleupagus to come walking through down aisle 3 with a basket full of now & laters, it was that deep-space 9 style, I’m telling you. Apparently there are a few honest people left in the world, and one of them found my phone. Luckily they didn’t notice my wallet with my phat grip of 10 bones in it (it had fallen from the little top area to the bottom of the cart) or else temptation would have been too great even for the apparent Mary Poppins that hooked me up.
Lifestyles of the middle-class & obscure, all up on your computer screen, live 14/5 dawg. Live 14/5, my new motto. Take it for whut you will, but it is oh so real.
Um, ya know whut? I’m over it for now. Over it. over the blogging thang. Not for all day or the rest of my life, ya know, but for right now, I don’t think I have anything else of substance to say.
But that never stopped me before, and once again, the fingers are percolating as I explain my ineptitude and why not drop just another ounce of knowledge. Sister sledge won’t find out, right? And if she does, that beyatch can step to the back with Mr. Furley and count my Benjies, cuz times is hot and the kitchen is cold. Mark Farina’s lacing the house with beats and all I’m doing is keeping some semblance of rhythm. It’s the least I can do, na mean? Cuz I am the ringmaster, and this is the circus, and you folks paid your hard earned money for the popcorn and cotton candy and you wanna see elephants and clowns and acrobats right?
Ah yes, that was worth writing. Very very worth it. was it worth reading? Let me know. In the handy dandy comments section. Oh yeah, they’re down still yes? Yes. Maybe if I write complaining that they don’t work & that my template is still jacked, the blog fairies will fix it just to prove me wrong. Hey folks, I can handle being wrong if it brings about the kind of synergistic interlocking eace-pay that I’m predicting will come about if this shit were in proper working order. And that is on the ever-present, sometimes neglected, but always in the hizzle Montrose my fellow Glendalians and otras personas del mundo. Don’t like it? write a letter to Oscar the Grouch, cuz I don’t give a rizzle’s ayizzle.
A lot of people (ok nobody) have asked me what’s the dizzle with the pizzle of words like fizzle? It’s really sizzle (simple). See, you take the first letter (or group of letters) of a word and then add “izzle.” So for example if you wanted to say “damn you know whut? I’m gonna walk down the street and buy myself a hamburger,” well instead if you wanted to talk fizzled out style, you could say, “dizzle you knizzle whizzle? I’m gonna wizzle dizzle the strizzle and bizzle myself a hambizzle.” See there is some room for freestyling, for example there was a judgment call on “hamburger” I could have gone with “hizzle” but I though “hambizzle” was a little more specific and flew off the tongue better as well as more thoroughly getting across my point.
I hope that was of some assistance. I DO have office hours, 10 pm until 2 AM, and I’m in room #72 if the linguistics department building. Otherwise known as the linguizzle depizzle bizzle. Fa shizzle. Please remember, I am not licensed to spizzle or trizzle, but I am certified in a trizzaining prizzogram (see that's the advanced classes, available for a fee) that can fizurther izzad to your educiznational nizeeds. (you'll notice I greatly expanded on the aforementioned rules. Like any classic language, there are variations which would take volumes of blog entries to explain in complete detail.)