Posted 4:28 PM by Alfred

Ok I gotta come back hard or go home. That’s the motto tonite. Keep it tight and simple, follow the lines where they go. No false moves this tide yodelay. Aw sneeps did you see the dave chappelle show with yoda as the highest levels of the jedi knight molesting children sketch? Like a parallel to the catholic, oh yeah you get it.

Sooo how bout those clippers? They’re kicking ass. Damn what is it, 7, 8 losses in a row, ya know, who’s counting really? It’s just about having fun, right?

Hanging out with Captain kangaroo later for a couple brewskies to mull over and grieve a little for the dearly departed Fred Rogers. A hell of a guy. Ya know whut, I hereby take back my statement that he was a weirdo. He was an a-lister on the first mate’s private cabin on the Goodship Lollipop. Where bon-bons play. Where they frollick and dance in the cool breeze while galloping winged stallions play accordions to the town of “beat it, just beat, beat it, ooohhh!” from the one gloved ones ultimat classic thriller.

There were these twin redhead kids when I was in like 3rd grade or something that they both knew all the words to all the songs on thriller, and would sing it up and down the schoolyard. It was revolutionary because up to that time everyone was into metal. The guys at least the girls were into duran duran which is rock but not metal, see they were all faggy seeming to us whereas metal was tough and rugged and meant something. Not that the guy from judas priest was like that or anything.

There was this swim coach in high school who that was his pet expression instead of “holy shit!” or “jesus Christ” he’d say “Judas Priest! Can’t you kick you legs any harder than that, c’mon bazelduderanch, let’s get it in gear. Seriously that was what he called bazaldoua, bazelduderanch, to get her speed up and through our sets. Fukn set. Have you ever had to swim pyramids? They are long. Long and long, and then you swim even more. They suck but dammit do they melt away the hours & pounds.

So the other day my neighbor came up to me and was like “we’ve got a problem with your cat Alfred. She’s on the loose and eating up all the neighborhood’s stationary. It’s really getting out of hand. We didn’t go overboard on the first few cards and envelopes, but she’s found the kits keith, the stationary kits, and those cannot be uncovered by you or no animal”

At this point I was backing away sloooowwwlllly from my neighbor and then basically ran in my house and called up the cops and said he’d threatened to kill me. Gonna press charges on that fucker too. Bastard.

Basketball is a high flyin game and the clippers are flying low, beneath the radar, but I think they’re on espn this weekend, so let’s see how they do.

I think they’re gonna win.

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