Posted 1:32 PM by Alfred

Wait. Wait a goddamm minute. Fuck I just spelled wait wrong TWICE in a fukn row, wouldn’t that piss you off, too? I spelled it wiat. I don’t know if wiat is a word, but if it is, it’s a pretty fukn stupid one.

Wiat. FUCK I did it again. Am I retarded? Wait. THANK YOU fuk am I secretly dislexic, but only in my fingers? Damn… wiat. FUCK’n shit, literally, I didn’t mean to do that at all.

Wait. (grrrrrrr) I have to call the east coast. And it’s already like 4 pm over there, so it’s probably useless, as most of those fukcs are lazy piles and out of the office by now, but if I leave a message I can check it off on my things to do and then blame iraq if the job doesn’t get done. So gimme a fukn minute ferchrissake goddammit.

Ok I’m right now – the guy’s name is “O’Toole” ha ha whut a punk ass bitch. Ok phone ringing, ringing, ringing, fukc pick up you pile of donkey shit!! Oh great voice mail, you goddamm pile. Ok hold on…

Oh god I’m such a kiss ass pile of donkey shit myself, I even said “aloha” at the end of the message. Actually this guy O’Toole is a pretty decent fella from whut I know of him, which is next to nothing, so I shouldn’t rag on him, but I will anyway.

I can’t believe that Joe said I can pull a blog entry out of the air out of nothing. Shit, Joe, does this look like nothing? This is fukn substance, playboy!! Shit!

That’s my new line, calling everybody (well, guys, not girls) playboy. I’ll be like “whutsup playboy!” so far it’s working out pretty good for me. I used to say “playa” but then I had the idea of adding the “boy” at the end, I think it makes people feel very comfortable and happy that I am in the same room. I’m pretty damn awesome like that. I mean, I’m a people person, oh hold on…

Jesus fukn Christ, this guy just came in my office and was talking to me, and it was like, I wanted to kill him. Jesus I hate people, everyone, and they all hate me. (ha, ha, see that didn’t really happen, you see, because I was being IRONIC) isn’t it ironic? You may ask why I suddenly went out of the parentheses on that sentence, and again, I was being ironic. Ironic about what? Fuk if I know, shit man, you don’t ask people what they’re being ironic about, I’m just fukn being ironic, alright, shit, don’t sweat me like that, shit, can’t be ironic up in this muthafucka without some bastard stepchild from the planet nebulon trying to bring the heat on a honkey. It JuSt AiN’t RiGhT. Isn’t that soooo stupid how I alternate between capitals and lowercase? You see I think that I want to use italics or bold for emphasis on certain words, but I know I’m not gonna read this before I transfer it from word to blogger, so that’ll never happen, so I do that instead. Aren’t I a genius? Yes I know.

Wiat, ooh shit there I go again, anyway, I just turned off AIM cuz it’s acting all weird and opening up windows and bitching about “blah blah” or some shit, and I’m like “oh no she didn’t” yeah nice job Alfred used that line yesterday, don’t quite your day job punk.

Don’t worry I won’t.

Two more things: lakers suck ass but they’ll still win a title (hear dat?) and I loves me a good motorcycle ride. I was riding all over the town yesterday, and it was like playboy short rolling up on them bizzles like in 1964 all over again, but this time it was me instead. I’m pretty badass when I’m on my motorcycle, even though it’s not mine, but I get to ride it, cuz I gots my license, hoes.

Whatever I’m outta here.

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