Wednesday, August 06, 2003
Like you give half a fuk.
Tom green was still obsessed with his fukked up desk last nite. It’s still all fucked up, so shit I’d be a little pissed too, but it was ironic if you will as he showed a bunch of his shows from the past, like his public access days, where they would chain saw the fuk out of their desk. So maybe this jackyl guy was trying to be all old school tom green and kiss his ass and it came back to bite him. it was bizarre how similar the desk thrashings were. Seriously though, this is a hot topic.
Shabba. Why is my hot topic the broken down dream of vagrant drunkards of yesterday to like 97% of the population, a third of which are asleep? It just reeks of imperialism.
I used to be able to play darth vader’s imperial march on the piano. Also the theme to Indiana jones. Also, um, the baby elephant walk and the superman theme. John Williams was the wind beneath my wings from my chopin-esque days on the ivory tickling duty. But I sucked ass basically and gave it all up for the championship street biking circuit, already operating way out of my age group, going down to the country clinic and checking on Frankie’s shingle operation when my pager wasn’t blowing up. Those were the days when a pager was as big as a fukn record player, and I’d hang it off my back pocket, yeah I had a sturdy ass, you betcha playboy short, and when that thing ringed I blinged, if you catch my driftola.
Shit I taught baby how to shine. Want a c-note, shit ace cooter, you needn’t come to me with anything less than a grip full a sunshine, or else the committee to reelect might go to work on your plastic surgeon, you know, give him some incentive to make your next tuck a little extra on the under.
Watching suge knight on howard last nite was pretty interesting but he got topped by the bishop don magic juan fa sho. This guy says he first got laid at age 5, by his baby sitter, who told him promise not to tell. Running his first ho when he was 16. self-professed greatest pimp to ever hit the planet. This is the same guy who is snoop dogg’s “spritual advisor.” Howard was fascinated by him. as far as suge, he says dre is a bitch for calling out a restraining order on him. shit, dre may be a bitch, but he ain’t stupid, suge is a scary muthafucka, I be calling for a restraining order if I knew that guy was on my ass, especially comin outta jail talking yang. But seriously, do, I guess you could see suge’s side, and it looks like he ain’t doing as well scrilla wise as you might guess. When howard asked him are you a millionaire, I figgered that he’d laugh like “hell yeah, time’s over, playboy” but he kind of shrugged and said “I guess you could say that” ya know, like a guy adding up everything he owns in his head and coming to the conclusion that it adds up to a little over a million. Which means, you ain’t really a millionaire, buddy, and whut the fuk? I woulda figgered he still had piles of paper, maybe he’s trying to keep the contingent guessing.
Ah who gives a flying fuck?