Posted 1:27 PM by Alfred

Well fukn cal got the ass-handers award big time this weekend courtesy of some punk ass (tsk tsk) wild cats outta mannhattan Kansas. Yeah that’s what I said, who the fuk ever heard of mannhattan Kansas, but shit, what can you do, they fukn are bad asses when it comes to football.

Their running back and QB are straight up SICK as in not like “ow my stomach hurts” sick but as in “fukn bad ass beyond belief” sick. Shit, I don’t know which one’s got a better shot at the heisman but the way fukn cal looked, fukn the bad news bears could’ve fukn ran for a buck fitty on they asses. Naw ferreal Cal represented in a very minor way an got their asses handed to them on a silver fukn platter by a MUCH superior team who by looks from the first game (but let’s see what happens when they play some real competition) appear to be national championship contenders, at least that’s what the announcers who couldn’t keep their rock hard dee’s down drooling all over their asses and saying things about cal like “well this’ll be a good learning experience for Cal” and “they should hold their heads up high” and SHIT fukn they got their asses beat and sucked major ass don’t degrade them, but still I’m going to go against what I just said and say they looked pretty decent for a team that should have completely sucked, which they did.

So that’s all I’ll say about that. Go congratulate JG on his home team’s victory. Or wait until they play a real team, like, oh I don’t know, the Okeefenokee Swamp-Ticklers or some shit like that. Fuk, well yeah, I’m bitter. I felt good when I started writing this and now I’m pissed. Fukn cal. JG was really nice though, shit I would’ve mentioned that Cal’s starting QB’s lineup picture looks like he’s a fukn crackhead, but shit, he got on the field and made some good stuff happen.

Yes I know I’m boring you all to tears. Well piss off then.

OK here’s where the post starts for those that don’t give a flying FUCK about cal football. Feel free to skip the above crap.

So that cal football is on a fukn one way train to suck-ASS-ville, ain’t they though??

You can’t get outta listening to me talk shit about cal, don’t you know that by now sucka?

Ok I’m done. What else? Hmmm, fuk that’s about it for now. Suddenly I’m over it. I’ll try and post something that doesn’t totally suck donkey ass-balls later on, like maybe in like 200 years, when Cal’s first string can put up a good game against like Harvard’s girls’ tether ball team.

Ok that was just fukn stupid.

Props to the Kansas State Wildcats. Those damn goat-fuckers.

So next week Southern Mississippi comes to Cal to kick some more bear scrotum. Or maybe not, maybe victory will be at hand, and not just for play, never know.

A lot of people would reread the above paragraphs, wonder why they ever relived such a nightmare of both memory & quality, and decide to immediately notify the garbage man. Not me, kids, I’m the CeRtAiN kind of joker malone that, shit, whatever. Aloha.

There must be something else of interest to tell you. hmmm. We got a new computer at the casa, which is pretty kick ass, but the sound is all fucked up, so we’ll probably have to return it, which makes jack a dull & pissed boy. Also, there was like, um, a football game I watched, which ended badly. Oh & we ate some good fukn thai food last night. It was really hot, and I handled it in a more professional OG manner than Mrs. P, so she is now the new gringa and I am an official non haole/gringo and new honorary Mexican for my ability to withstand extreme chiles & garlic and shrimp concoctions brewed by the Kaneohe thai masters contingent.

I was gonna write something really deep today, but shit, I'm feeling inconsequential, well, not inconsequential, it's just like, shit, why invest the energy in delving into deep thoughts at the tail end of some lame sports post which nobody except for the president of the word-that-shall-not-be-uttered mercado and his number one sales associate named herman v. vanderwilder will even fukn read anyway. or something the fuck like that. cut me a break people, this shit is free right? so go on with your day and forget about this rumble in the space time whatever the fuck they call it.

Oh & bazooka joe said hi.

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