Wednesday, September 10, 2003

I just put on the soundtrack to Chariots of Fire by Vangelis. I’m gonna see if it inspires me to some kind of epiphany.

Ok that “sha sha sha sha bing bing” is kicking in, still no major shift in consciousness.

“la la la la” Ok well I’m picturing like these guys running, and like splashing in a puddle, and like really strained looks on their faces like they gotta take a dump, but, yeah, that’s about it.

I’ll keep you posted. Sounds nice though. Really doe.

Oh yeah so I had some further theories on this whole file-sharing lawsuit dillio. (See the two posts below the post below – greedy greg) I don’t remember who greedy greg was but it sounds like a good name for a fictitional (fictitious? Yeah that’s the ticket) editor.

Oh yeah the RIAA lawsuit dogshit etcetera thang. OK, I figger one of two things, one theory being the one they WANT us to believe, and one theory being the one that is actually TRUE. But don’t say that I told you so even though I did.

Ok here we go let’s see if I can even remember them now.

Ok the theory they WANT us to believe goes as so: This little twelve year old girl and her mom (mainly her mom, I’m assuming) went into a meeting with like these corporate bigwig types from like the recording artists of America society or whatever. These really slimy greasy suits with names like guido and charley show them all these figures and numbers and like law documentations and stuff and from what they’re looking at, it’s just so obvious that they’re nailed to the wall. They’ve got them cold. If this case were allowed to go to court, I mean, the amount of money this little girl would owe would be astronomical, like, and then these suits are like, look, we’ll offer you a deal. 2 grand, and all is forgiven, I mean, compared to the millions that you really owe us for this grand theft of our merchandise we’re giving you the deal of a lifetime. The mother & the little girl thank their lucky stars and sign on the dotted line and wire the money from their swiss bank account. The little girl is beaten senseless with a wire hanger that evening and everyone leaves the situation relatively satisfied.

Ok so if this scenario is the public perception, then the file-sharing population, the people downloading all this free stuff, suddenly they’re scared. They’re shitting their pants. They’re thinking “damn if this little girl, which at first seemed like a public relations nightmare, was willing to fork over this kind of cash to the RIAA, then they must have their ducks lined up real nice ready to just take it to every tom, dick, harry, & alice that ever even thought of downloading home on the range." Basically, they’re thinking, shit, I’m gonna stop this and hope I don’t get nailed too.

BUT, I don’t think that’s what happened. That’s what the RIAA wants you to think. THIS is what I think happened. I think that the little girl & mommy went into this meeting with these guys, and the recording industry execs were like “look, you scratch my back I’ll scratch yours. We need to generate the public perception out there that this is serious business. If we can get you, the lightning rod in the media for this story, to agree publicly that you were in the wrong, we will look golden. Here you go, sign this, you’ll pay us 2 grand, but we will wire to your secret swiss bank account $20,000, oh and sign this non-disclosure agreement and here, we’re gonna need you to make a couple public announcements about how wrong you were to steal from Sisqo and everyone walks away happy.” The little girl & her mom look at each other, each one counting in their heads how many my little ponies and prada backpacks they can buy with that kind of cash, sign the deal with the devil, and suddenly the RIAA looks like they mean serious business.

And instead of a beating the 12 year old girl gets taken to Farrells for the all you can eat stuff your face ice cream surprise.

Ok now, does that make any sense whatever to anyone besides me? I sincerely hope so. Please feel free to email or comment if I have generated some form of confusion and I’ll do what I can to clear up the matter.


Oh and speaking of MP3’s, I haven’t listened to any of these guys' songs yet, but they are by far the coolest LOOKING band ever, if in fact that’s them. (pictured)