Posted 11:24 AM by Alfred

I was having this mini-crisis yesterday, and I’d like to thank Goose for helping me through it.

It goes as follows.

I like Good Charlotte.

I can’t help it, really. They’re just, so, rebellious. I mean, they just don’t care, they don’t wanna be like, um, those old grouchy people. I mean, ha, they’re so lighthearted yet so dangerous! Ooh-weeh.

So anyway, I was having doubts as to my manliness in this instance. I asked “El Gooso” in all seriousness, “does liking good charlotte make me gay.” And he answered thus:

No. if you wanted to FUCK good charlotte that would make you gay.

He then added that that did NOT make it ok though.

So I guess it’s not ok.

But I don’t wanna be like you. I wanna be dangerous, and, like really hardcore. Horrorcore even.

And I think this is my first step.

You know you’re scared. Terrified.

I think Good Charlotte get a bad rap. I mean, yah they’re sell-out little bitches always swinging on MTV’s nutsacks, but they are gifted, um, sorry that thought just ran away with the gypsies.

Is don knotts still alive? I keep bugging fitz about it, I really don’t know why, something I said to myself in a random diatribe made me remember Mr. Limpet, you know, that old Don Knotts movie where he wanted to be a fish. “I wish.. I wish I were a fish!” that movie was cinematic magic, seriously, like the pinnacle of the form. It was just inspirational.

If you don’t remember it you better run out to your nearest blackmarket vhs distributor, because I’m pretty sure only santa and like his most illegally connected elf could hook that shit up on dvd, I could be talkin’ outta my ass (no way) but I’ll leave that there for you to digest. Tasty, yes? No? maybe so? I really don’t care. Just come back and eat more, barf it up, hang out by the dumpster with a gaggle of donuts Karen carpenter style it’s all good, as long as you never ever forget that I am the, um, something or other.

Yeah so whatever. I’m over it for right now.

Oh yeah, Mr. Limpett. He actually turns into a fish, and the movie turns into this fish cartoon, and he falls in love with this chick fish, you see, he always wanted to be a fish, it was his dream and it comes true, and he’s like this cartoon fish with glasses I think, and shit, people, it’s basically the ultimate movie, well, that and Bugsy Malone.

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