Posted 1:57 PM by Alfred

let me tell you something, Jarvis, if a certain store calls, every hour on the hour, for 3 days straight, and then you throw in a bottle full of bailey’s irish crème, and you do a cannonball off of your roof into a pool full of jello, who’s the real enemy?

Fukn sinead o’connor is so retarded.

So like, anotha day anotha dolla. All my 72 other posts, after reading them over this morning, over and over and over again, I decided they were all crap and exterminated every one, every single last one, with extreme prejudice.

Fuk I wouldn’t vote for Arnold for like 3 dollars. For four dollars, however, wait that is really not good. Hold on. I gotta make a phone call.

yes, rhesus monkey malone, please.

this is rhesus.

yo reese, we got a problem here. A big problem. Cops don’t like me, and I don’t like muthafuckin’ cops. Haha, no really, actually, the problem is with the fourth paragraph in the first post (maybe the only post) for Friday September 5th, 2003. it’s all fucked up, I mean it’s fuck’n raggedy ann and andy all wrapped up in like a fish sandwich. It’s not gonna work out. We need it axed. Big time.

I’ll see whut I can do, but you remember what carlton said…

yo fuck carlton, I started this shit, I say whut goes, I write the shit, I scan the archives for nuggets, I fukn corrall goddamm fuckn keith when he’s gotten into the fucken reserves, I fucken make sure joe is taken care of on the underground tip, and fucken carlton is gonna try to tell me whut I can and cannot fukn edit out??? FUCK THAT SHIT!

hey bitch, you’re the one that signed over controlling stock to that phat motherfucker. Don’t yell at me about it. and he says, no editing, under any circumstances. His exact words were “I don’t care if there’s a fucken 2x4 shoved up your ass and a porcupine crawling up like this perfect cylinder through the middle, ready to like shoot all his thorns around the inner walls of your bowels, thou shalt not edit, the contingent needs it raw.” And don’t even try to tell me I fucked it up cuz I recorded it and if you bring in fucking Cochran you can lick my fukn Cochran.

did you just say if I bring in fukn Cochran I can lick your Cochran?

yeah, I think so, yeah.

I liked that. Ok fuck it, let’s run it. fuck we didn’t get to the middle by being a fly by nite fucking j. jonah operation now did we?

no sir.

alright. Aloha

aloha.

-click-

Hmmm. Oh hello. You still there? Well, um, I’ve gotta go eat some oysters. Enjoy the show.

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