Posted 12:02 PM by Alfred

Fuck I almost smashed my fuckn monitor through this like plate glass window I was getting so antsy waiting for ms word to load. Ferreal son. First off, strait out the gate, I’m gonna take a cue from true, strait up, velocity verbosity, and fukn thank all y’all for reading this shit. strait up and down kids. Yo strait down yo lane and fukn up yo area it’s strait up non-gangsta shit.

Fuk where the fuk was I? Oh yeah, strait up & down, yall don’t even know how many dog shit ass thoughts that just strait are like invading my noggin, it’s like this guy puts it so perfectly on his very first post, I’m like strait up jealous that he could see it so clearly, it’s like if you don’t supply a fukn drain for the excess gray matter, shit ain’t gonna fly kid it’s gonna die. And then rot & fester in your medulla oblongata and strait up & down that shit will poison your mental more than that mom in flowers in the attic poisoned her kids but kinda like that, na mean? Like a slow poison like that after a few years yer all skinny and shit and can barely like hang and then a couple years later like your little bro dies and then you’re like, yo, FUCK that bitch and the ho-ass grandma and that punk ass granddad, yo, fuck them.

But not my mom & grandmas and grandpa (rip) they some down ass with the coz peeps, na mean, it was like a representation from a movie to make a point which I totally lost.

Oh yah so like back to true’s shit, strait up & down, na mean, like thanks to all yall, c’mon, give yourselves a hand, na mean, fuck me, I’m just like this guy throwin tomatoes up against the wall and callin it art but yall come in here and look at it and say nice things for the most part and for that I will be forever appreciative and humbled and na mean? Gracias from mi corazon, that’s on the real, strait up & down.

And no I’m not black, I’m white, and yes it does matter, race matters, na mean? But shit dawgs if I wanna talk like fukn ice-t or ice cube or vanilla ice that’s strait up and down my prerogative na mean? I ain’t bobby brown and you ain’t whitney and this bag ain’t full of ye-yo so strait up and down cough up my pokemon cards.

Fuck I don’t know jack shit about poke-mon, just came to mind yo. Yo yo yo yo yo. Do NOT even think about playin wit my yo yo.

See that’s the type of shit I’m talking about, where else besides bloggerville can I say “don’t play with my yo yo” jus’ bitin’ old ice cube lines and like say “strait up and down” over and over again and somehow it’s like respected or not respected or at least read by a few people. whatevs. I suck you suck wouldn’t you like to be a pepper too? No I don’t suck & neither do you and diet dr. pepper does NOT taste like regular dr. pepper, na mean? I’m a muthafuckin pepper from way back, strait up & down, and I will not sanction that shit no way no how.

Oh just to clarify, when I was mentioning screaming yesterday, I had more in mind Sam Kinison than that old Iron Maiden singer, but I felt like putting a pic of the ex-front man just cuz, na mean, it was bobby brown style, which I already elaborated on. FUCK this telephone, na mean?

Shit cuz that telephone just rang I didn’t get to finish my thought, and it was deeper than atlantis na mean? Damn that’s bad, no that’s good. So yeah, sam kinison, here’s something I bet you didn’t know, I could have seen him live except for the fact that I’m a big lazy pile of shit. freshman year at Cal, Sam coming to play at whatever ballroom or shit on campus, and I was a little bitch and didn’t go cuz I couldn’t get anyone else to go with me. Nobody else wanted to cough up the 25 bones or whatever it was, so I let it go. I LET IT GO. And then just a few months after said show, of which I indicated “ah I’ll get another chance to see him sometime” he fucking dies in a car accident. Literally like 3 months later, this is not on some metaphorical shit, check the concert dates, punks. And I didn’t go, just cuz I didn’t want to go by myself. What a little bitch. What the fuck I need somebody to go with me that shit for? I can’t sit by myself and have a fukn beer and laugh and enjoy comic genius? Me=dumbass.

So anyway, sam was like my fave comedian and is still up in that like upper echelon, although in retrospect I realize he had maybe 2 really hilarious years at the top but then kinda went into a tailspin on the drugs and the rock and roll mentality of the whole trip, he became too much of a superstar that the awareness of it as well as the associated lifestyle may have hurt his pure Schwartz or whatever. I mean, he never even really worked the elite club circuit, (I mean he was big in Houston before moving to LA, but c’mon) except as like a door guy and mop up end of the nite duty at the Comedy Store in Hollywood, he was too hardcore, basically, Rodney Dangerfield gave him 6 minutes on an hbo “battle of the comics” special or some shit like that and he blew the FUCK up. Like right the fuck away. And Sam’s hbo special was off the goddamm muthafuckin chain. Off of it. so yeah Sam was what I was thinking when I was referencing that scream shit in the post below. Yeah.

So anyway, sam’s bro & best bud remember the moment that he died, he had just been in that accident, some drunk kid rammed right into him & his wife, bro & buddy run to the car, sam looks kinda fucked up, but maybe ok, and he like doesn’t even see them, his buddy’s holding him and Sam is like looking off into space, talking to somebody (God? He was an ex evangelist preacher, pretty damn good it seems) and he’s like saying “Why now? Why now? I don’t wanna die yet.” He just keeps saying “why now?” and then he gets like this content look on his face and is like “oh. Ok, ok.” And then peacefully just dies.

I don’t know whut that means but in this documentary I watched yesterday (which you should check out btw, it’s called like “why did we laugh” or something like that), his buddy says it was like, although his best friend died in his arms, it left him with the most amazing feeling of peace, which he’s carried through to this day.

RIP you bad ass motherfucker. Oh & say wuddup to Randy for me cuz holmes ain’t been around in days (days = almost a damn year already), ferreal, strait up & down.

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