Posted 11:46 AM by Alfred

Hello people of the internet. I am Ralph Zabinski. You may know me as the bastard step-nephew of famous rap pioneer Afrikaa Bambaata, but I have appeared in many chemical safety instruction videos as well as a few low budget animal centric experimental avant guarde hi-fi productions.

Your normal host mr. Keith pennyworth was dragged out of here by a small crack team of white clad gentlemen at around 7:30 Hawaii time yesterday. It was deemed by a jury of his peers that he was unable to continue in his duties as moderator and chief scribe of this space and thus I have been drafted into duty by said assemblage.

First off, as representative of the commission I would like to offer deep and hearty apologies for yesterday’s display. Mr. Pennyworth is on a very intricate and often varying retinue of medications, and apparently after his morning bath yesterday decided to throw them all out the window along with the leftover water. When he left on his morning rounds, he appeared relatively lucid, but by noon time Mr. Fisk had alerted the board as to what was going on. Sadly enough, by that time Keith had locked himself in the upstairs broom closet with an outdated Toshiba laptop and all the codes had been changed as of 12:01 the night before.

Served as evidence thereof that the confused butler slash rap star had planned this methodical journey into madness is examination of the timeline in that the codes are almost if never changed and that just about anyone on the premises could pen a thought if so inclined. That was the way carlton envisioned the construct upon depiction, and that has worked with some success for almost the entire shelf life of the product.

For those of you concerned with Mr. Pennyworth’s health, both mental and physiological, please do not be alarmed. Apparently the groundwork for this episode was laid while he was smoking cloves on Kahala beach a couple days ago at which time he suffered the delusion that a sea turtle was translating an ancient Egyptian banana bread recipe directly into his medulla oblongata. Shortly after that, items began disappearing from the pantry, nothing to cause major alarm, but enough so that the cook was complaining and almost gave the custodian a concussion in the courtyard under the banyan tree. Suffice to say that Keith is now back on the grounds and lounging quite comfortably in the master suite’s four-poster bed, on an intravenous drip of all the appropriate chemicals, and should be back to his old self by tomorrow around noon time according to the staff shamans slash surgeons, as long as he dutifully eats his vegetables and avoids cherry flavored pop tarts.

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