Posted 12:57 PM by Alfred

I like to call people named Bobby, or, I guess, maybe even Robert, Bobbo, I think it rolls off the tongue in an avant guarde (ok, not that) or at least nice sounding (nice sounding? Jesus age Christ can’t you come up with something better than that?) (oh, and yeah, hi, second set of parentheses in a row, yeah, I was gonna put a set in that last one, but I’m not sure what the procedures are for something like that, but I was gonna mention that, um, is it Jesus H. Christ, or jesus AGE Christ, yeah, could someone let me know about that, pretty sure actually now that it’s H, but well, if so, what does the H stand for, hellacious? Prolly not) fashion. Bobbo sounds good is what I was trying to say, before I got mildly sidetracked.

Speaking of mild, I never buy mild salsa, always hot, I’d rather be like having my head on fire and sweating profusely than feel that I denied myself some realm of spiciness and the full range of taste of said chipotle, using chipotle as strictly a general term for something en fuego in the taste sense, for lack of better phrase-ology, which seems to be an ongoing problem this morning.

Oh yeah I was gonna say, this broad just called with congressman Tom Delay with some dogSHIT horse manure message for the boss, like, ok lady, um, yeah, totally, I’ll have him get RIGHT on that, I’m sure it’s a very MUY importante press release or whatever you have for him, despite the fact that the number of astro medallions currently hanging from my neck (which is, I will impart to you at this time, mucho) is not even near to the amount of times you have called already regarding this matter and the fact that you have gotten nowhere with said efforts should be a very good indicator that it just ain’t gonna happen, na mean? Yah.

Tom Delay reminds me of Art Vandelay, ya know that fake name from Seinfeld, which reminds me of another importante cosa I was gonna habla a ti, but first, primero, that other story, about the broad calling, reminded me of this one part in Casino, you know, when Robert Deniro (who I would not call Bobbo, this is an exception to the rule, I mean, he might not like that, in fact, I can already predict the very serious expression which would cross his face if such umbrage were emitted. This leads to rule 1 dash A, in that you should know said Bobby or Robert well ie in a friendly manner, to a degree where it's ok to fuck with them a little bit, because, i don't know, it sounds goofy, and some people are not down with light hearted giggles at their own expense. Anyway.) Where was I? oh yes, Deniro calls up, um, that pimp guy that Sharon Stone is in love with and keeps running away to, um, shit that famous actor, um, shit, you know, damn, can’t remember his name, great actor though, anyway, the slimeball is like taking down Deniro’s number to call him back, and he’s like “yeah, yeah, 5436, yeah call you right back” and like making like the jurk off motion with his hand and not writing shit down cuz he ain’t gonna call back Sam Rothstein’s ass, no way no how.

And so yeah, that’s what I was doing with this broad when she called, like “yeah, let me get your number, oh yeah, 1-800 etcetera, yes I will impart this very important and vital message to Mr. Jurk Storr at my nearest opportunity in fact I may just board a lear jet in 3 seconds and fly to Afghanistan and personally deliver it to the sheik rhami mohammed who kneels with the dogs of Ashtar.”

This confused her a good deal as I don’t think she’s down with the dee oh gee’s of the ash-bombers like yo. Werd.

So, oh yeah, I saw a seinfeld last night which I’m pretty sure I had never seen before. This is exciting in that it never happens, unless about 85 astro medallions line up perfectly underneath the aurora borealis and like shoot photon rays through a prism and then you get like a perfect spectrum which includes the not often seen shade of mauve as seen in the batman butler handbook. Ok made up that last part.

But anyway, this seinfeld episode, I was trippin, my dawgs, cuz it had Kramer’s mom in it. and it was the one where kramer’s first name is revealed as Cosmo. Now I knew his first name was Cosmo, but I never realized there was an actual revelation episode. Oh and George thinks that his model girlfriend is yuking up her meals after they eat in order to stay skinny, which pisses him off not for health concerns, but because he’s wasting money on food which she’s barfing up, oh, and Jerry has the chance to have a ménage a trois, which he passes up, because he can’t see himself becoming an “orgy guy.”

So that was a very necessary breakdown of a random seinfeld episode which you probably could not have lived without.

It’s kinda lame that I’m werking today as it’s a national holiday but not a state holiday, which they switched with like prince kuhio day, which I didn’t get off either, but you know, I am so vital to the Hawaiian economy, that, well, it’s crucial. Banks are closed though, which means that my lunch appointment with Sir Mix-a-Lot to hang out in central downtown Bank of Hawaii’s main vault and count our scrilla is totally gonna have to be rescheduled. Shitty.

update: Speaking of Bobby, ya needs to check out Skull Bolt. As for calling him Bobbo, um, take your chances, but I wouldn't go there. He's liable to unscrew your medulla and flambe' your oblongata. chuuuuuch.

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