Posted 1:07 PM by Alfred

mad shizzle to dizzle.

But you know I always reserve a pequenito pocket of time for thou, the contingent, formerly almost indiscriminate, at this time somewhat more substantial, but be it 2 or 2 large there’s no place like la casa. Comprendan ustedes? Si.

Mrs. P’s familia loves to laugh at me when I try to speak Spanish. Apparently I sound like a retarded donkey. It’s all good though, the clown in me digs the whole court jester dillio, even though at times that little boy in my throat is crying out for respect.

Ah but respect, it must be earned. And truly I get mad props, just not for my eskilles wit da espanolio, na mean? Fa sho.

So like, I’m starting to feel like I’m pulling a Kenny Banyon ovaltine metaphor with this whole jurk storr thing. Or maybe even an Andy Kaufman pro wrestling simile, ya dig, like when somebody gets so focused on one out of left field idea to the point where people are seriously wondering what the fuck is going on.

Fuck it, though, I like that. I think it fucking rules that Kaufman told Hollywood to kiss his ass (while at the same time repping it to the extreme, vandal style) and went and rustled around with redneck wrestlers on some bizarre-ass career suicide endeavor. That’s what makes him so damn gangsta. I like the fact, no, I love the fact, that he took jokes that no one necessarily liked nor understood and used them ad infinitum, grinding them into the ground, until they were completely devoid of any meaning whatsoever. And then kept doing it, until the audience was either sickened or disgusted or annoyed or all of the above. that’s fukn perseverance goddammit. That’s immor fucking tality beyatch. That’s fukn ditching the herd and going for a fukn sandwich at the deli while everybody else grazes on oats and wheat germ per the “sheddyool”.

So fuck it, the jurk storr did call, goddammit, and yes, I am their number one best seller, and the damn ocean called too while we’re at it, and yes the prices of shrimp, well, expect them to skyrocket through the goddamm roof, cuz the stock is getting low, peeples.

If you really have no fukn idea whut the fuk I’m talking about when I reference jerkero Mercado you need to click here. As in right the fuk now. I don’t know who the hell this foolio is, but he captures the whole substance of the matter in a nutshell that a squirrel would seriously stash away in a little tree hidey-hole for like the time equivalent of 85,347 astro-medallions.

Long beach.

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