Posted 3:18 AM by Alfred

Notes during the commercial breaks of the season premiere of Saturday night live.

Jack black is pretty funny. In that way of like, you think to yourself, I could be that funny, if only I didn’t get that like funny feeling in my stomach when speaking in front of more than 5 people. Well maybe not 5, maybe 15’s a better number. Anyway, if I’m performing, I get nervous. Except for you fine folks, cuz I can’t see you. You’re, like, phantoms, I just rap with this computer screen, and like, shit gets up on said screen and then everyone leaves the room happy and/or sad, and whether or not you enjoy your time reading this dogshit, I gets paid either way. Or not.

So, um, intro was mildly amusing. Something about jack black’s ego or lack thereof and a song. Um, and the first skit, a spoof of wade robeson project, that GAY ass (and I don’ mean gay in a derogatory towards homosexual lifestyle type dillio) dance contest show on MTV.

And no, sub/ver/sion, I didn’t say dildo. Dillio, as in gangsta sytle for deal.

Anyway, where was I, typical skit with like the crew of people that like can’t get laid. 2nd skit that is, after the wade robeson project or whatevs. Is that guy with the sweater, the gabe something or other, is that like a spoof of the main character on Dear John, does anyone besides me remember that old show? With the guy from taxi? Um, this skit seems lame, but I guess I’ll go keep watching it.

Oh btw, beck’s Octoberfest is good stuff.

Ok this is fucking stupid. Yeah jack black has long hair in the sketch, he’s like a cook teaching a cooking class and it’s really retarded.

Hmmm, the cartoon was funny at first but lame toward the end. I’m getting another beer. Please be advised that although the title of this post is snl something or other the remainder will be random dogshit half-drunken thoughts of a non-irish gentleman. Mahalo. Can I say that? I am after all a stupid haole. Aloha.

Another beer has been achieved. Have I mentioned that mrs. P is asleep? Damn she’s amazing. Just thought I’d mention it. Yes, mrs. P is my wife for those of you who are uninitiated in like the ladatts. She’s like super um incredible and um that’s all I have to say about that.

Have I ever told you that john mayer is like the biggest pile of donkey shit in the known universe and thereby an excellent opportunity to flip channels and see whut’s up with sportscenter? If I haven’t well please let me herein.

Oh yeah and joe sorry about your giants. Even though, um, fuck the giants. As yes I am a dodger fan. Yes, sports are boring to the rank and um, fackle. Even though fackle isn’t a word it seemed strangely appropriate in this time frame. So yeah, and um, barry bonds can like lick a matrix alien robots left testicle on the moon, the dark side if I may be so bold.

I know Carlton said i'm not supposed to edit, but there was really some retarded stuff in this space which the authoritative commission on further review concluded was just not meant to be. Drunkennes has transpired at this point and thank allah my traffic is down a smidgen at this juncture in that less people will read this and ass-tard central will not be quite as centralized as may have occurred under different circumstances.

The new Bill Murray movie looks pretty good.

The beautiful thing about SNL and blogging, of which this is the first experience I have had with said event, is that the musical guest, especially when it’s some flaming pussy, is an excellent juncture at which to type a bunch of random bullshit.

I’m gonna take a break and sit on tha couch and look at the other screen for a minute.

Hi I’m back. With another um ‘ski. Yeah. The snl news was funny except for this popolo guy talking about how black people always talk during the movie. I'm sorry, ya know, i really am, but is there any joke more tired than the popolos talking during the movie joke? Yo, word to sum buddy’s mudda, can I get like a witness to this crime? Oh and fyi: popolo is like local speak for black person. But yes I am an ignorant white man so I’m probably wrong about this. Um, ok, going overboard on the random Hawaiian anonymous chick giving me shit about talking about Hawaii. Last mention. Officially. Jurk storr. Aloha.

I’m gonna go ahead an erase the above paragraph because it makes it look like I’m, um, overly sensitive when like people say that I shouldn’t talk about Hawaii, when nothing could be further from the truth, just like muscle said, I was walking with a ukelele, then I went surfing, then I ate a big ol’ pineapple, and then I like did the hula, and then I like threw a virgin in a volcano and it was all good.

Peace out in bitten effect.

Stuck with a late pass. Step.

Um, I’m gonna find some random comic book covers and go fall asleeep.

Ps: john mayer sucks my ass.

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