Posted 3:32 AM by Alfred

ATLANTIS STYLE

The following text is an unedited transcription of a few scribbled pages from an old steno pad I found today while cleaning house. If I had to guess, I’d say it’s about 6 years old, maybe older. Honestly, I don’t remember writing it, but it‘s my handwriting, so hey, either it‘s a big conspiracy involving massive amounts of forgery, or these thoughts went riding through my mental at some point in the last decade. So I guess it’s time capsule Saturday (well, now Sunday) or some shit like that.

I wait on the phone like an abandoned groom. I have the feeling I’ve been stood up, but yet bravely persevere. She must have got a flat, I think. Perhaps she’s stuck in traffic?

But deep down, I know that no one is going to come to my aid. The fumbling keystrokes of some pimply-faced hack echo insultingly out of the speaker-phone. I am on hold.

I am on hold, and I think I’m here to stay. When did childhood pass me by? Such a short time ago I was a bright-eyed student of life. The world was my playground, and, like a child, I didn’t even know it. Now responsibility weighs on me like an unwanted child. The product of a past indiscretion that has so far yielded no quantifiable or emotional reward.

Bills. Bills suck.

Sometimes I feel that I let the best times of life pass me by, looking forward to what I thought would be better.

Amazing how one second, you can feel so preponderously bored & disappointed with your life, and then, like the peeking of the sun on the horizon at dawn, the good things come into view.

Those times were good. The curse of life is wisdom. Hindsight is useless, in fact, dangerous. There are always things we would do differently. Those that say otherwise lie.

Or is it just me?

“Hello?”

Good Lord, a voice in the cacophony of 4th rate instrumental chaos.

Hold-hell having frozen over, I conduct the business necessary and hang up, mildly annoyed over the bureaucratic interruption of my multi-level self-examination. Work can be like that.

Is ignorance bliss?

Sometimes I think it’s definitely a key ingredient. It’s truly a beautiful thing to be able to blindly live. To go through the motions without analysis. Or so I’ve heard. I wouldn’t know.

And religion - don’t let me even start - (Don’t worry, I will - later.)

Why can’t I just do things w/o thinking about them? Why do I care? Why are we here?

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