Posted 2:25 PM by Alfred

If Davey Crockett was the king of the wild frontier, then who was the queen? That girl that killed her parents with 40 wacks each? Dammitt, what was her name again? Shit now I gotta try and google it.

Well, dammitt, I just opened espn so lemme check some sports crap and then I promise I’ll get back to it. you have my word as an English gentleman.

Keyshawn Johnson may be a fucking idiot, but I think the Buc’s management (and by association, Gruden) are even stupider. Is stupider a word? Bill Gates doesn’t seem to have a problem with it. Gruden, you grinning bastard, this is revenge, you, you, fuck you. I remember when keyshawn was at usc, I was hoping so bad they would lose that rose bowl to northwestern but of course they didn’t. it seemed like some kind of mythical underdog situation that just did not come to the fruition I may have imagined. If you don’t give a fuck about football, please instruct your brain to erase any memory of reading this paragraph. Move on to the next paragraph where further instructions await.

Ha, sucker. I tricked you & I win. I love boring you with sports shit. Now that my hits are in the toilet time to grab that handle and give it a good flush. Right down the drain, off to jinx bathroom land, where all the honey graham growers can throw tomatoes at it. yippee. and when i say hits in the toilet don't get offended if i have more hits than you now like i'm talking like some big shot, ok, i'm just giving you my own subjective viewpoint of the current situation vis a vis the ocean calling and running out of a shitload of shrimp. great now i'm gonna be like on 83 blacklists. well fine, i'm a communist. happy? dammitt now you hate me.

Oh wait, I should have remembered, you’re not supposed to talk about hits, that ain’t nearly underground enough, I mean, everybody knows that nobody whose anybody cares even one rat’s ass cheek about hits, right? Me personally, I’m in it for the annual fruitcake lottery. Plus the inner feeling of peace that i get in the middle of my medulla oblongata when i reminisce about the friendship on that tugboat with Coco & T-bone. good, good times.

Anyway, nothing turns readers away in droves like an indepth heady and heartfelt serious discussion of America’s team. And fuck the cowboys and their fukn whatever the hell their egomaniacal crapsterpiece is. You know the drill hoes, and even if you don’t, hey it’s never to late to make a first impression, it’s all about the la clippers, chumps.

Whut the fuck? they lost, to the shit ass Cleveland cavs. Lebron’s team, yah the 2nd coming, of whut? Of your ass. This post is dogshit acres times 3, and in actuality a prime example of the inherent problem of bloggerville broken down so eloquently by sarah crabtree.

Yeah and so there was some other shit on my mind too though but fuck it.

Oh wait, I promised a google search on that 40 wacks thing. Hold on. I’m gonna fuckn find it. it’s an old like folksy sounding song, about some girl that woke up one night and slaughtered her folks with an axe.

Ah ha! Gotta love the innernet. Here it is:

“Lizzie Borden took an axe
Gave her mother 40 whacks
When she saw what she had done
She gave her father 41."

Lizzie fukn Borden. If memory serves correct there was some thrash metal band with the same name back in the 80’s or some shit like that.

This little nursery rhyme was based on the famous 1892 murder trial, of which a veritable treasure trove of information can be found here.

OK, I'm gonna go get retarded now that the party's started. preceding line copyright some old ass nondescript rap group of which i have no memory as to their name. if they contact me via their legal counsel I'll cross that bridge at the appropriate time. And yes the jurk storr is open today. Mahalo.

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