Posted 3:49 AM by Alfred

I got that good shit on auction, I mean, um, I’m buying that good shit on auction, okay, you caught me, I’m really not, I just am like in an auction type mood. I think that if an auction just suddenly broke out in my house right now I would be down to participate, ya know, throw out some bids on shit, like maybe a new electric can opener or candle holder, something to hold me over until summertime if you get my drift.

Just enough crap to fill an average sized whatsistat and not a penny more. A dollar earned is a sword sheathed if you’re talking about after 2 in the morning on a Sunday, and even if it’s a Tuesday or a Thursday it’s still a pretty dicey proposition. Better you just wait in the car and let me go in and handle this. I mean it. It would be best for all parties involved if you let me do what they trained me to do. Let me be the dog that brings the newspaper that is the hidden code to the ancient Amazonian safe in your life.

There was this mountain, a metaphysical one, that I’m climbing right now and it looks like it’s gonna work out, I just wanted to let everyone out there in smurf land know that gargamel is gonna be exorcised from the premises in a few short weeks thanks to some high ranking connections I was able to rattle with an uncle willie from steamboat alley on my mother’s side. So don’t mention it but don’t forget it. I know you know what that means, and even if you pretend that you don’t, you know that I know that you know. So don’t front.

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