Posted 5:54 PM by Alfred

um, I guess I should write some crap. One thing you must do is go to this fine website all about 40 ounces and just peruse their wares. Homey’s got the world’s largest collection of 40 bottles and plenny pics of wacky characters dranking on malt liquor and chiming in with their eloquent reviews on the various brews. I really got excited when I hit the section which highlighted what I feel like is prolly the best drink of all time, Coqui 900. I was especially touched by what one gentleman known as “662” had to say about the wonderful product that is 9-ball:

“I picked this one up from south side chicago,right where coprene green used to be, so that was a buzzkill already when I brought it home I looked at the label and it just looked foul, with toxic waste flowing on the bottom of the label, I figured it cost me $3.30 for two of them it is a good idea to throw this shit in the freezer for 1/2 an hour, I started drinking it later and it tasted really malt then my roomate started smoking weed and I hit it, the buzz got weird, like I felt like I should kill someone or rob a bank, shit made you think evil, I figured it was a good idea to dump the last inch, this slut who was at my house called me a wuss, I looked at her and thoght about raping and killing her but then I figured it would be a wiser thoice to sleep this wicked buzz away.”

And if you work for Pabst or whoever the fuck puts out coqui 900, I’m not sure if 662 is available to work on an ad campaign for you, which, shit, would obviously skyrocket sales, but, well, you never know.

In other news, um, the jurk storr called. And, shit, you know whut, strike that. I would like to have the jury disregard that statement. Mr. Frankleton should not have mentioned that in this court as it has no bearing on the case at hand, and yes I do object, to your presence in New Guinea on the date in question. Meaningful shit, of that you can be assured.

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