Posted 2:28 PM by Alfred

Yo yo.

So how was the weekend? Mine was pretty good. Can’t complain. And that’s in like a good way. You know how some people say “can’t complain” but it means it was really shitty but they don’t wanna sound like a little bitch, but when I say it I actually mean, yah, it was good, you know, nice, you know, no complaints.

Prolly being redundant. The shittiest part of it, actually, was not getting this piece of shit lawn mower to start. Dadgum thing. I really don’t mind mowing lawn, but shit, I mean, damn, I yanked on that starter like a billion times, and Mrs. P, despite my protestations, was giving it the old college try as well. And it ran, it actually did, for like 2 minutes, during which I mowed two strips of this giant lawn, but then it was like that raven saying “nevermore” cuz it never wanted to work again. Blown whatsistat? Don’t know. I’m not technical. Maybe the spark plug is shot. It had plenty oil & gas. This is really interesting isn’t it?

Ok I’m gonna do something productive. Have I mentioned that my fantasy basketball players are going to the dogs in a serious fashion? That is not a compliment. I was like almost winning and now I’m in the middle of the pack. Unacceptable. And that was more fascinating information for you. use it wisely. Ok NOW I’m gonna do something productive. Seriously.

Whoah. I did a lot of productive shit. if I was a superhero my name would be, wait, nah, fuck that.

The problem with my blog/work strategy is I come back to a word document with no recollection of what the hell I was talking about, which is usually next to nothing. But letting that stop me just wouldn’t be kool keith. The fake kool keith. Me. Not the real one. I really have no idea what he would do in this situation. Prolly hit up some big booty bitch. Then maybe get a paddle and get bizzy. But in a nice way. You know, nobody gets hurt everybody smiles, play some pong on the big screen after all the waxin’s been consummated. Whatever, some shit like that.

Just remember that just cuz I’m kool and my name’s keith, even though it’s not, doesn’t mean I’m THE kool keith. And just cuz someone signs their name kool keith on some shit doesn’t mean it’s me or mr. thornton or batman’s butler or a manhole cover. Keep track of that shit & you should stay out of trouble.

Sometimes I think that I should be a little more famous than a Pringles backup dancer and other times I think I should be less famous than biggie smalls’ hairdresser. That’s some real shit. yah I’m not who you think I am and no I don’t dust giant pennies or wax poles labeled bruce & dick, but I am a man, and I have thoughts, and they spill out off of various precipices and those cliffsides may or may not look over this here space.

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