Posted 11:46 AM by Alfred

If I even revealed like the smallest smidgen of unrelenting jurk storr shit that I could unleash on your sorry asses right now well frankly and in full confidence I think that you would have enormous pain in your main vein. Whichever one that may be. I’m not presuming to know the full elements of any organism without an investigation most undoubtedly too intense for any parties involved, well possibly some agents of the corleone family might be so inclined to attempt the settelement of said arguments over a glass or two of chardonnay and the beating bastardized bleating billygoat warming rays of father ra, and then afterward we’d definitely be playing some billiards, of that you may as well etch it in stone.

Not even the reverse flash could explain to you the intense wherewithalls that will come over you if I were to utter even a word. Becuz simply and with as little or no melodrama as possible, mildly stated for the mass consumption that is, at least if you’re comparing it to half a backup dancer in a pringle’s commercial, I mean I feel I’m at least double that, that guy doesn’t deserve to be on the same block with me, ok, shit, I know, he’s more famous than me. And that is something by which I cannot abide. So this is announcing that I am hunting him down and somehow demoting his status and then I will know that you really like me, you really really like me. Not you, those people.

And I have this little feeling that if you suddenly woke up and you were living in an episode of little house on the prairie, you would naturally freak out and miss your old life but secretly, in that little booweevil inside us all, you’d be so glad that it’s back to such non mass media infested times. you know, you'd get used to the routine, the bare essence of every experience. take a pail of eggs to ma & pa kettle to get some rabbit stew funds and possibly shoot some varmints. And then go swimming in the creek. And get yelled at by your teacher and fight that girl with the blonde curls cuz she’s so evil.

Wait, you have to not have left yet. There’s like the time that I snuck into sewers. Ok the storm drain. Ok my shower. But let’s not fight. Let’s squander all our cash on horse races and blackjack tables and throw buckets of tunafish off of the side of the hoover dam, just to pay props up to the ex-prez and the cross-dressing fbi chief, without them, shit, we’d prolly all be dead, totally roasted by this secret band of Lithuanian rebels that were going to use manifest destinyville as their headquarters as soon as they dropped this super secret bomb that they’d devised by mixing the powers of methane and hydrogen gases, with a side of cayenne pepper, and shit, it’s lucky that didn’t happen.

Cuz then we never would have had Reagan.

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