Posted 4:26 PM by Alfred

One thing that is VITAL you remember about the jurk storr is its hours. They are stricktly 9 to 5, whut a way to make a living. Strait up nell’s diner, I mean, mel’s diner, style. Remember snuffalupaguss, big bird’s buddy on sesame street? I used to PRAY that he would be on, every episode, but, they’re pretty rare, those sitings, lemme tell ya vern, you gotta keep a keen keen eye out for them snuffalupaguss travelogues, don’t sleep on ‘em, cuz they’ll bum rush tha show and change up the whole game in the blink of an eye, shit, eye aye cap’n, that be not quite more than enough eye in my pie, ya dig? If you don’t, do, or don’t, fuck I reallllly don’t give a fuck.

One thing you have to know is that if and when the jurk storr calls you HAVE to be ready. They’ll probably ask you a whole bunch of complicated questions involving certain aspects of the tribal traditions of certain new guinian localities and the secret to passing this test of sorts is to just pretend that you know every possible thing about whatever they may be talking about, even to the point of strait up actin like a third guard substitute and possibly even lying well in fact not possibly certainly lying like a stuck turtle around thanksgiving time, on whether or not your feet are green or fuchsia.

One of the things you need to believe in order to survey the three sacred moonstones is one be a pepper two don’t forget your ovaltine and three always give a hoot. If smokey even says anything about not having done it on a rock or like down by the bay don’t even accept for even one second in any way shape or form the argument he or she may be making, cuz trust me on this one they're fuller of shit than a kettle full of homemade popcorn.

Hmmm, I was gonna make this one mean a lot, too, cuz, shit, taking up dry space is just so 1982.

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