dr. doooom's answering machine

yup, yup, more random thoughts from reading Hunter S. Thompson’s Fear & Loathing on the Campaign Trail ’72. I know, I know, I’m obsessed. Sorry.

Buuuut, you know the thing that really fucked up mcgovern in 72? That guy on the left on the Time cover, Tom Eagleton. Turns out that he was a looney, and a few years back he’d had some shock treatment therapy in a nuthouse. And he neglected to mention it to good ol’ George muck-G when he offered him the job as vp. Hmmm. And guess who ended up replacing him, you’ll never guess. This guy named Sargent Shriver, who I didn’t realize until I googled pics of him but he’s maria shriver’s dad and that same old fart that came out and hugged Arnold after he won the California governorship.

Ok that’s all for now. Hope you’re having a good one. It’s rainy as fuck here, as it seems to have been for like a week straight. I might go golfing tomorrow but we’ll see how Mr. God dictates Mr. Weather for the Mr. Day and don’t forget good ol’ Mr. Wallet, and yes I know I used Mr. and good ol already, but hey, cut me a break, who do you think I am, Sir Laurence Olivier? I ain’t even Sir Mix-a-Lot, but shit, you know I got a big ass. Chuuuch.

Ok but, well, yeah, I was gonna end it there, but you must know, the reason that eagleton fucked things up so bad, besides his craziness, was that mcgovern was a dumbass for picking him, I mean, hindsight being 20/20 and all that, but, well, mcgovern campaigned for & won the democratic nomination by being an “alternative” type candidate, you know, the “non-political” politician, and that was his bread and butter, ya dig? But all the bigwig power structure in the democratic party hated him & wanted to bring him down, and eagleton was one of those type peeps, so he was like a peace offering, and plus, well, teddy kennedy acted like he might take the veep spot but he decided against it. fukn teddy kennedy, he could have changed the course of history, cuz almost guarans, they woulda won with him. he was super popular, notwithstanding being a drunk chappaquidick ass or whatever. and imagine, mcgovern/kennedy wins 72, hold on until 1980, and you've got president Teddy Kennedy instead of Ronald Reagan. Shit we might all be speaking Russian, or the whole planet could be owned by Texaco, what is that, like, you kill a fly in Nicaragua and a dog dies in Ohio? something like that.

And it was just too bizarre how incredibly one sided this election was, and Nixon suddenly could get away with murder, and like, out of nowhere, because of the image of McGovern turning all sellout, the demos couldn't buy a pair of votes with a lobster dinner and a serenade from the chairman of the board.

This is a freaky quote:

“Ominous” is not quite the right word for a situation where one of the most consistently unpopular politicians in American history suddenly skyrockets to Folk Hero status while his closest advisors are being caught almost daily in nazi-style gigs that would have embarrassed Martin Bormann.

Not sure who Martin Bormann is, assuming he’s some big time nazi. (yah. Click here. 2nd in command to Hitler during WWII.) Anyway, the point being that for some odd reason, even being blessed with a viable alternative of a candidate, one who Bobby Kennedy had called “one of the most decent men in America”, the country still was rabid for Nixon, they loved the fucking guy, despite his daily bombings and his regular public relations issues with the whole Watergate thing coming to a boiling point (although it hadn’t got directly to him yet) but, still, I mean, whut the fuck?

Mcgovern fucked up super bad, like, terribly, he canned his vp, who deserved it, but came out looking like the asshole. Not looking like the “man of the people” type, “different” from the others politico, and, SHIT, I don’t know where I’m going with this. Anyway, look it up, kids, it’s history, and if you don’t know your past you can’t know your, um, ovaltine. Aloha.