Posted 6:00 PM by Alfred

Ian Fleming is a better writer than you me and fukn kierkegaard put together. Just trust me on it. shit, you gotta read casino royale. I’ve tried my pen (er, keystroke) at describing detailed torture sessions, but I don’t know, fleming just blows away anything I could’ve thought of with such an elegant simplicity, as can be seen here as Bond's nemesis (of the moment) outlines the finer points of the forcible info retrieval game, specifically from anyone of the male persuasion. The short version: concentrate on the nuts, which Le Chiffre has been doing for some time before dropping said knowledge on our good buddy 007.

If I may be so bold, allow me to quote Mr. Fleming:

Le Chiffre was talking again.

‘Torture is a terrible thing,’ he was saying as he puffed at a fresh cigarette, ‘but it is a simple matter for the torturer, particularly when the patient,’ he smiled at the word, ‘is a man. You see, my dear Bond, with a man it is quite unnecessary to indulge in refinements. With this simple instrument, or with almost any other object, one can cause a man as much pain as is possible or necessary. Do not believe what you read in novels or books about the war. There is nothing worse. It is not only the immediate agony, but also the thought that your manhood is being gradually destroyed and that at the end, if you will not yield, you will no longer be a man.

‘That, my dear Bond, is a sad and terrible thought – a long chain of agony for the body and also for the mind, and then the final screaming moment when you will beg me to kill you. All that is inevitable unless you tell me where you hid the money.’

Uh, uh, uh, uh, I know I’ve said it before, but shit! this is just, the final word, I don’t know, say it any way, fukn whisper it in Swahili to your secret lover down by the dock, but ian fleming is the fukn man and, well, take that to the barn and roll in it.

PS: you can click here, and then clickie the thingie that says audioblog and listen to me read another ian fleming james bond excerpt, hmm, this one was from on her majesty’s secret service. While you’re over there, hang out and read some of m68’s old shit, he’s like a top notch blogger even though he’s strictly a weekly affair nowadays. He’s a funny guy, seriously, and when I say that, I’m not trying to imply that he’s like a mushroom or something.

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