Posted 4:45 PM by Alfred

So joanie loves chachi and Abraham loves Isaac, what does that make me when I’m thirsty on the love boat and fonzie’s jumping the shark in the cabin’s bathtub? Well I think, and would bet, that it puts me in the same league as the Big Ragu. Don’t quote me as an authority on the subject (or any other) but I would say with almost sincerity that if heavens to mergatroid was declared our national anthem, well, hotdog sales would go up at Wrigley in a heartbeat, cuz people would realize that it’s so on the money, strait up no panickin, like the style of that which exudes high quality from every (ok, almost every) orifice yet at the same time bears no pretension or haughtiness even subconsciously. That’s the key to the magic kingdom, mein freunds, and if you don’t believe me, go ask Mr. McGillicuddy.

What is the opposite of an 85 astromedallion quality meteor shower if it were to occur in Papa New Guinea at the exact same time as a lunar equinox over Beirut? Sometimes I wonder & always I ponder if those exact calculations were to come to fruition at the same millisecond, would there be ramifications with lasting effects that no one ever discovers and in fact believes, down to the last soul, that that facet of life as we know it was in no way affected by said event.

Also, if you’re flying over a place in an airplane, and you’re gonna jump out with your parachute, how sure do you have to be that that string works, it’s like, I would be there opening it and then packing the chute back in like 3 times, just to make super soooper sure that that fukn parachute’s in there, cuz, well, if it ain’t, that’s your ass.

But that might signify lack of surety in some borders of that existence that I have not yet pondered yet. What could I possibly be declining to reveal to myself and what way shape or form style of the (mr. x) familia could possibly be masterminding this besiegement of casa Escobar (name changed to protect the guilty) as we know it love it and section it off into various zones of behaviorism effectology by which to ascertain which combination is the most satisfactory to a prefabricated set of focus groups. Stay tuned, and we just may find out, said the captain, before hanging up his microphone and getting into the stash.

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