Thursday, August 05, 2004
End of an era in oaktown. Tim brown heading off for greener, nay, less crowded, pastures. Gotta respect the man. Shit, I wouldn’t want to cap off my career “waving a towel” either. Sad to see you go, but good luck, mayne. Yah, like you’re reading this. Does it matter? Nein. Is it possible? Aye. Am I a pirate? Maybe in another life, but if I am, I hope at least I have a green parrot with a red scarf. Serially.
Dear editing staff: this is Mr. Fisk. It has come to my attention that the butler has, in fact, done it. By having done “it” I mean sucking up the premises with overbelated talk of birds with clothing, of which my ex-wife Vanessa informed me that I am no longer allowed to ever view in any way shape or form. If and when such an action is undertaken, I have to immediately unestablish myself from any associations involved, and, frankly, at this time I am not ready to relinquish my control of this endeavor. I have also grown extremely tired of the confusion over my first name with that of a baseball player, although I have let it go up to now for the sake of the inherent quality of confusion and my desire to be known yet unknown.
Because of this debacle I currently find myself in, despite the fact that I find much of his work quite stimulating, I must request that mr. Pennyworth immediately be removed from the premises and given a gold watch with the emblem “jurk storr enterprises. Mucho mahalo for many years of quality service.” Then he should be unceremoniously shoved out the door, preferably into a snow drift, and I know we don’t have snow here in Hawaii, but please see what you can do. I understand that this is the first time I have ever called for your services, as you know, normally I am loathe to involve the editing process in this operation in any capacity, but the terms and conditions of my current legal team have informed me that due to impending massive lawsuits designed to cripple my organization, I have no other choice. If you enjoy the continued receipt of your paycheck, I’m sure these actions will be undertaken swiftly and ruthlessly.