Posted 3:09 PM by Ryan Loco

You think i'm happy about this picture? Well I aint, jerky.

And I know, I know, I'm dead. How am I making this post? Well, I owed it to Keith.

I met Keith back in 1943. He was a struggling piano player. I told him about what I did, and my dreams and goals.

And if it wasn't for that curly haired sumbitch, I'd be dead by now. Well, I AM dead, but you understand what I mean. If you don't, go fuck yourself Charlie.

I told Keith, Keith, I wanna sing show tunes. He told me no. Go for some soothing, lounge style music. It'll sell. So I did.

I said, I think I should be called The CEO.

He said, No, Frankie, you're the Chairman of the Board.

One night in Atlanta, I said Keith, let's just ditch the hotel room.

He said No Frank, we gotta bury the bodies and burn the evidence.

Keith, I'm not hanging out with a black guy and a drunk.

Don't worry Frankie, he said, Sammy's not really black and Dean's a loveable lush.

I'm glad I listened to him, who knows what the fuck woulda happened.

Lemme tell ya something...I run this city. Ever run a city? Well I have. Which city? Whatever fucking city I'm in, I run it.

If it wasn't for Keith, I'd be like you. But thanks to Keith, you all wish you could be me.
Thanks Keith.

Sincerely,

the Chairman of the Board

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