Wednesday, November 10, 2004

It’s quite simple really. The clippers are now the real los angeles basketball team. You heard it here first. Not that it’s the first time I’M saying it, but, alas, nay, better that way, I am the one and only throughout history up to this point, except for those other people, to announce said enunciation with such amazing amount of forthright and fortitude. You’re welcome.

Damn, what an asshanders. Indiana is crying in their soup right now. I’m busting, Jerry, I’m busting! If only you knew the dillie that was scrillied, the jurk storr would undoubtedly call, and I can’t risk that, so I must keep silent for now. You’re welcome.

And the lakers, the once proud, “kobe’s team,” is on the receiving end of an asshanders. This is the award I believe originated by mark & bryan, who besides that aspect of their personality laden radio show on KLOS I didn’t much care for, I mean, they were aight, that’s another story, that shall never be told, you’re welcome, but anyway, asshanders implies, nay, does not imply, but clearly states actually, that you are getting your ass handed to you, and dear Indiana pacers & la lakers, this is occurring in your vicinity.

I need la clipper shoes & la clipper pants to go with my la clipper hat & la clipper shirt (oh wait, sorry, san diego clipper shirt) and then I will be the ultimate lord of all the clipper kingdom and you’ll prolly have to kiss my ring. You’re welcome in advance.

I should erase all this, cuz I explained asshanders, and explaining shit is so 1972. mystery is the modern day equivalent of gold plated esophagi. You can put that in the bank, next to your commemorative james paul getty coin collection.