Posted 1:31 PM by Alfred

Well then and how are you? You and you and you. And your turtle over there. Yup I just can’t stay away. I’m like mofo’ing too short except I deal in words and phrases. Oh wait. So does he. But I stay away from the avant garde. Oh wait, no I don’t. well, does he? Shit, am I too short? I know life is. Oh sorry, I meant to say too $hort. There. Now we can discuss this matter like civilized human beings.

At the bottom of our news tonite, as chuck’s secretary at abc news would opine, I don’t have shit besides that to say, really. Except that my skills have dramatically increased in the area of that which shall not be intimated herein. Suffice to say a big pat on the back is in order for the master of ceremonies, not that that’s me. Oh, fuck off. Why are you still reading this? Marmaduke is readily available. You know this. It is tres obvious, even to those that aren’t super crazy about great danes. Believe it and then know it and then plaster it all over your walls and draw little hearts and flowers all over it. And devil horns. Why not?

If the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, it might just be that the dominos guy was late and in order to make the nonexistent guarantee time decided to hurtle that shit like a newspaper and take the cut out of his tips, I mean, c’mon, it doesn’t necessarily mean the flutterville butterfly shit. Goddamm, stop being so presumptious. Take a break and lounge in the anteroom; enjoy our lobby’s European coffee machine. Eat a donut. Just try not to involve me nor my associates. Gracias.

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