Saturday, June 11, 2005

Howdy there. Ok. I’m back. From the movies. I watched Sahara. At the dollar movies. It was pretty good, but that doesn’t matter right now. What is at issue is the fact that every time I watch a movie or read a book with a discernible plot I feel this anxiety that that is something that I cannot do, when, but, if I think about it for a little while it is, something I can do that is, and with my head clearing more daily, yet gaining mildly increasing degrees of fog in other arenas, it’s still becoming something more in the hemisphere of obtainable skills. Also, however, inversely logically, (a specialty of the house) the inability to perfectly plot has given impetus to some of the (supposed) best stuff I’ve written and been the main focus, or lack thereof, of the project of which I considered my magnus opus (at this juncture). But then I look back on something that I used to consider big time but later abandoned, and I give it a clear (current) look, and see it for what it could possibly be if I got off my lazy ass and really hammered out the plot and included more detail and maybe some research into what it really means to actually physically torture someone, I mean, if I’m gonna do it I gotta do it right, I don’t wanna be on some half ass bruckheimer meets tarantino shit, I wanna get down to the brass tacks, literally, and come up with shit that ain’t nobody heard of since the marquis de sade was digging in the crates of his deep inner consciousness and developing the really arcane style shit of which to cause increasingly rapid and nigh impossible to deal with types of pain.

Anyway, that notwithstanding, I’ve really gotta keep beating on this not dead horse that is the master thesis, so pardon me while I clear my throat and have a sip of whisky and take you for just a little ride. When last we were where we were, Don was contemplating the lack of real communication between strangers, but in actuality, he’s the type of person that deals with this factor better than the common man or woman, at least in my eye, and much better than the other two main characters, at least one of them. Possibly the main main character is more in tune with this facet of humanity, but one of Don’s main qualities is supposedly his ability to see the dark side of ourselves, and run with it, and not be particularly concerned, but what I think I might have been attempting to clarify was a weak moment for Don, or, conversely, a strong moment, in any event, something not normally within his character, at least in the norm, but not something out of his range. And this leads to the idea of people going out of what they would normally do, and this brings in the idea that formulaically, this would be a time for something odd or not common to happen in the storyline, reflecting his change in attitude, however subtle, from his base identity of going with most flows and not caring about what other people are doing, how they view him, ie: being comfortable with how base and debaucherous and non-intimate the world really is when you break it down, and take a serious look at it and discover under the depths that despite all of our desires to be one with the universe or find our inner souls or whatever the fuck you want to call it, for the most part we just want to go through our motions, get home in one piece, and pass out in front of the television.

oh yah I blabbed some inane gibberish at simpleton.

update: I don't know if it's coincidence or what (almost definitely) but the aforementioned simpleton iterates a lot of the ideas that Don is having float through is head in this oration, but from a decidedly different yet similar perspective. spooky. I called the "that's incredible" people to investigate, but apparently it's not the 70's anymore. oh well.