Posted 7:08 PM by Alfred

I’m fucking tired. I lifted a lot of fucking batteries today. Let’s say you got 72 batteries. And then you gotta lift all them mofos. And then you gotta lift 72 more. And then say you gotta lift like 72 of those batteries one more time each. So let’s say, just for argument’s sake, and obviously this is all entirely hypothetical, that you did as I just said, you would have lifted over 200 batteries, and these batteries each weigh about 65 pounds apiece. Now that’s over 13,000 pounds of weight that you done lifted. And in this hypothetical situation, it was (un)actually more, prolly add another at least 35, so that’s another 2,275 pounds. So that’s over 15,000 pounds you lifted in the span of about 3 hours. At a certain point your arms turn to jelly. And then you start almost dropping shit. And then you have a few beers, you’re feeling alright, you’re typing some horseshit for some bullshit website shit, and you start thinking, phew, glad I went to fucking college and like got a degree and shit, so I could lift 15,000 pounds worth of shit in the morning and then come back and like look at a screen and have to do more shit, and then, I mean, yeah, you can pick up beers and maybe some rum to make a 10th of the pain go away, but it doesn’t go away, now does it? Not all the way. No. you wake up in the middle of the night with your, yes, beautiful wife, and that’s a blessing, no doubt, and she’s got a heart of gold, but your body is hurting, and obviously, even though it’s all hypothetical, you still wonder sometimes, if it really did all happen, that despite the amazing blessings if you didn’t take a wrong turn somewhere, and then you look over at aforementioned beautiful wife and you remember the odd feeling of exhilaration you felt in the middle of throwing all that heavy massification around, and you think, well, sometimes, yes, in a weird way, hard labor is a reward in itself, and then you remember, well, fuck, you ain’t doing this shit for free, and then you think, well, fuck, maybe I ain’t as dumb as I look, and then maybe you fall back asleep, and watch goats jumping over horseshoes maybe of cotton candy and then the alarm rings and you wake up and you might be sore in body and mind but you think, well, fuck it, what’s the alternative, and you realize there are really a million of ‘em, and then you’re out of ideas on the subject and you decide to get up take a shower and shut the brain down for a few hours, just for ole time’s sake.

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