Posted 3:59 PM by Alfred

The degree of fascination that you have for this paragraph is such to the degree that you have this strange feeling of having to go to the bathroom. Don’t worry. Trust me. It’s nothing to do with your bladder or bowels, it’s just the fact that, well, you’ve never been quite so interested in something as you are in these words you are reading right now. This is what it feels like to be almost exploding with the deepest possible curiosity and reverent respect and awe and shock, and all those mixed emotions involved in just being to the level of you can’t even describe what you would do if you could bottle it up and sell it on 5th street, not that you ever would, you’d hoard it for yourself in your medicine cabinet, never leaving your house, going in there for a fix every 3.5 hours. And it’s good for you too. At least it would be if it existed. Cuz this ain’t it, you only thought it was, you’ll wake up in 20 years feeling jipped and realizing as you hold the tattered and worn and fingerprint infested printout of this text that you’ll never get that time back and that all your life has led up to you hating me and the internet for this cosmic deception. Sorry in advance.

Jesus goddamm Christ I know I’ve written something almost exactly like that before. Oh well, spidey fights doc ock once a year, and batman ain’t thrown the joker off the bell tower yet (even though mike keaton did) so I guess repetition is the new chartreuse.





True Jamie Bing

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